Read Secondhand Sinners for Free Online Page B

Dad?”
    “They were fine. They both acted fine.” Gail eyed Jack and cocked her head. “What is that boy doing?”
    “He’s adding up all the moons of the solar system. I tried to see Levi yesterday. He didn’t want to see me. Has he talked to you?”
    “That would be rather hard for him to do since I haven’t visited him.”
    “Don’t you think you should go see him?”
    “I can’t even go see Mother in the home now because I have to stay here and wait, so I’m certainly not going to be able to make it to the jail. He gets a phone call. He knows my number.”
    Emily had completely forgotten about her grandmother. “Do you want me to wait here so you can go visit with Ma'am? You could go see Levi too.”
    Gail shooed that idea away with a flick of her wrist. “How would that look? Your father’s in ICU fighting for his life, and I run all over town visiting other people, including the person who put him in the hospital in the first place?”
    “I think it would look like you were doing the best you could, given the circumstances, that you loved your son no matter what may have happened. You know this has got to be some kind of a mistake, right? Levi wouldn’t hurt anyone who wasn’t hurting him first.”
    “Norman would never do anything to provoke your brother.”
    It was nine-thirty in the morning and Emily could swear she had already lived through a whole day since she woke up. She pressed her palms to her eyes. “Oh my God, Mom. Can’t you even consider that this was some kind of accident? Or that there might possibly be two sides to the story of what happened?”
    Gail picked her old prayer book up off the chair next to her, clutched it to her chest, and spoke to the floor. “Do not take the Lord’s name in vain, Emily. I raised you better than that.”
    “‘God’ is not his name. ‘God’ is his title. He has names. Real names. God, Mom. Dad’s in a coma, Levi’s in jail, and you’re pulling this self-righteous crap? Can’t you have an emotion for once? Let go of that book of someone else’s prayers and feel something?”
    “Like what?” Gail snapped. “What would you like me to feel?”
    “Anger. Fear. Doubt. You’ve got to be experiencing something like that.”
    For the first time since Emily walked into the room, which meant it was the first time in years, Gail locked eyes with her. “To what end? So I can say I felt anger, fear, and doubt? You think that would please God?”
    “I think God would be more pleased with one genuine emotion than this false stoicism. I think he’d rather hear one genuine cry for help than a prescribed prayer bought with a credit card.”
    Gail moved her eyes from Emily and rested them back on Jack. “Smart words coming from someone who’s paying for her own disobedience of having sex with the town drunk’s son.”
    Emily took a few steps back, feeling a physical blow from her mother’s words. “You think having a child with autism is a punishment for something that happened years before he was even born? Jack is not my punishment. He is my reward.”
    “You know what I’m saying. God does not let disobedience go unpunished. Somewhere down the road we all have to pay for the wrong we’ve done.”
    Emily stared at her mother’s pale, shaking hands and nodded. “You’re right, Mom. We all face consequences. I was just standing at the window to Dad’s room trying to figure out what the hell he was being punished for. We’re staying at Levi’s if anything changes.” She ushered Jack out of his chair. “Daniel was more than the town drunk’s son, you know? And I wasn’t having sex with him. I was having sex with Miller.”
    Gail flinched again. It was different this time, though. It was more subtle than a few minutes ago. This time it was deeper, like someone had assaulted her soul instead of her body. “Miller?”
    “Yeah. I wasn’t pregnant with Daniel’s baby. I was pregnant with Miller’s. That night I ran away? I was running