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more experienced. He knew the risks. I don’t know, he’d said halfheartedly. Love me, Tony. Please love me. He shouldn’t have given in, but he’d been powerless when it came to Amy. He’d loved her so much, he would have turned himself inside out for her. And God, the way she’d looked at him that night as they made love. Even now, it made his chest feel full.
    They’d made love a dozen or so times over the ensuing eight weeks, and when the summer was over, they made secret plans to return to Seaside for a weekend alone. A weekend that Tony would have given his life for—a weekend when they didn’t have to hide their relationship.
    Three weeks after their families left Seaside and Amy had gone off to Brown University, they’d returned for that secret weekend together. They’d been a couple just shy of twelve weeks. It had been the best twelve weeks of Tony’s life. He had Amy. Sweet, precious Amy, and she loved him the way he loved her, with his whole being. She loved him with a heart so big it swallowed him. Amy had said she wanted to talk, but he’d wanted to surf before the sun went down.
    The waves were big that weekend, following a storm during the week. Amy may have been lean, but she was strong, with the balance of a gymnast. But that afternoon, she’d turned to look for him just as a wave caught her board, and her foot twisted. Tony’s heart had stopped cold as he watched her wipe out. He dove for her as the waves pummeled her against the ocean’s rocky floor. At first Tony had no idea what was happening. Blood pooled in her suit. Had she gotten her period? There was too much blood for that. Amy’s eyes had bored right through him. She’d clutched his wet skin, digging her nails into him and crying. Oh God. Oh God. Oh no , she’d cried. Tony carried her to the car and drove her straight to the hospital.
    A miscarriage . He hadn’t even known she was pregnant. Amy was too distraught to talk. She lay silent and still in the hospital bed, staring with emotionless eyes at the curtain, and that nurse, that goddamn nurse, had looked at him with her beady eyes and hissed, How could you let your pregnant girlfriend go surfing?
    It was his fault. All of it.
    He’d taken Amy back to his cottage that evening, cared for her, loved her, wept with her, and in the morning she’d said she needed time and space. Time . The word loomed between them as she packed her bag. Space . Tony had felt his heart shatter inside his chest with that one. He felt the change when he hugged her goodbye. She’d held him at a distance, in a cold, halfhearted embrace. He’d wanted to tell her that he’d love her forever, regardless of what happened. He’d wanted to promise her that they’d have a big family one day with as many children as she wanted when she was ready.
    But Amy had had other plans.
    Plans that didn’t include upsetting his budding career or upsetting her father’s expectations. Plans that no longer included Tony.
    She’d pushed at his chest, eyes wide and…fearful? He could never be sure what he’d seen. I can’t; I’m sorry, she’d said, before getting into her car and driving away. He’d gone after her, but she’d driven too fast, ignored his texts and phone calls.
    Weeks went by without a word from her, and when he’d shown up at her dorm two weeks later, she’d offered nothing. There was no reconciliation, no discussion of the two treacherous weeks that had passed, and no explanation to her reticence beyond a lame excuse of not remembering a damn thing about the moment that he’d never forget.
    He’d tried to bring it up. We should talk about what happened. She looked at him like he was crazy. Happened? I have no idea what you’re talking about.   She’d acted like they’d never loved each other. She’d ignored his calls and texts after that, and for several years Tony had avoided going back to the Cape during the summers for more than a few days. Until after she’d graduated from