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the fake leather cold on my naked back.
    “Baby?” Kassi whispered from the bed. For some reason, when she called me that, I got all flushed and warm inside.
    “Yeah?”
    “What are you doing?”
    “Nothing. Was just messing with it. New computer and all, and I’m a nerd, you know.”
    “Come back to bed.”
    I wondered how to turn the computer off without having to talk to it. I thought about pressing the button on the front of the case, but decided to leave it alone. It was too strange already, and I had no idea what it might do if I tried to turn it off. What if it was like Skynet and decided to take over the world? Launch nukes and all that, or maybe just bring the internet to its knees and destroy world economies. My brain began to play out scenario after scenario about the thing sitting on my desk being an evil AI, enslaving mankind, or maybe just wiping us out.
    “Tyler?”
    “Coming,” I said, my paranoid delusions broken for the moment as I climbed back in bed and curled up next to her.
    As I closed my eyes, I wondered how I was going to sneak her out of the house without my mother and father seeing us. I wouldn’t be in any trouble, but I didn’t want to die of embarrassment, knowing that they’d know exactly what had been going on. It was embarrassing enough that my mother couldn’t have missed the signs of me going through puberty, especially after I was allowed to have a computer in my room. My last thought before falling asleep again wasn’t about the computer, but about whether or not I was a puppy falling in love with the girl in my bed.
     

CHAPTER 4 - Thanksgiving Day
     
    November 27, 2014
     
    Kassandra and I woke to the sounds of a full house.
    “Oh shit,” I groaned. There was no way of getting her out sight unseen.
    “What’s the matter?” she asked.
    “Relatives. There’s like ten billion of them. We’ll never make it out of here alive.”
    “Are you ashamed of me?” she asked, her face drooping into a pout.
    “No. You’ll be ashamed of me the instant we get accosted, which will be the instant we walk out of the bedroom.”
    “Why would I be ashamed of you? I stayed with you all night, didn’t I?”
    “Yeah, but wait until you meet my family. My parents are the best of the bunch, by a long shot, but they’ll do their best to ruin my chances of ever getting you to go out with me again.”
    Kassi slugged me in the chest, then straddled me. “How about I embarrass you by howling during a fantastic orgasm?”
    The girl definitely scared me. She was more aggressive than any girl I’d ever been with. I always thought I wanted a woman like that, one that would take charge, demand things of me. It’s weird how sometimes fantasies come true, but they turn out to be awkward, sometimes uncomfortable, instead of the event you’d built up in your mind for years.
    “I have to pee,” I said, using the time-honored excuse to get out of anything, especially immediately after waking up.
    She slid off and gave me a fake sniffle. I threw on some shorts and a shirt and cracked my bedroom door open an inch. There seemed to be a million kids in our living room. I cringed but opened the door just enough to slip through, closing it behind me with a soft click. It must have sounded like a double-barreled shotgun firing because everyone in the house turned to look at me. I thanked Judas Priest that my morning wood had gone down as I high-tailed it to the bathroom, then cursed when I arrived at the bathroom only to find the door closed.
    I jiggled the doorknob to let whoever know that they were infringing on my right to piss after waking up.
    “Go play outside!” the gruff voice yelled from inside the bathroom.
    Great. Uncle Marion, my mom’s younger brother. Uncle Marion was okay, I guess, if you liked being constantly annoyed by his loud, abrasive, grating voice and his know-it-all-syndrome. He’d married a nice lady, Melissa, and had ruined her as far as I was concerned. They had five