Rossum´s Universal Robots

Read Rossum´s Universal Robots for Free Online

Book: Read Rossum´s Universal Robots for Free Online
Authors: Karel Čapek
Balkans.” Oh Jesus, it’s God, He’s punishing us again! And they’re gonna come here with their armies and all! How far away’s that, then?
    Helena It’s a long way away. Oh don’t read that, it’s always the same, always the same wars and....
    Nana Well of course it’s always about wars! What d’you expect if they keep selling thousands and thousands of them heathens to make them into soldiers? Oh, Jesus Christ, what a mess!
    Helena Just stop reading them, will you! I don’t want to hear about it.
    Nana ( syllable by syllable ) “Ro-bot sol-diers show no mer-cy to lo-cal pop-... pop-u-la-tion. More than sev-en hund-red thou-sand mass-a-cred” Here, that’s people, Helena!
    Helena That can’t be right! Let me see... ( leans over paper, reads ) “More than seven hundred thousand massacred by order of commander. These atrocities...” Do you hear that, Nana, it was people who gave them the order to do it!
    Nana Wha’s this down here in heavy print? “Lat-est re-ports; first u-nions est-ab-lished by ro-bots in Le Hav-re” I don’t know what all that’s about, can’t be important. What’s this, though; another murder! Jesus Christ!
    Helena You can go, Nana, take these papers with you!
    Nana Hold on, there’s something here in big letters; “pro-cre-a-tion”; what’ that then?
    Helena Let me see, I’ll read it ( takes paper ) Well, that’s odd! ( reading ) “Once again, not a single birth has been recorded during the seven days.” ( puts paper down )
    Nana What’s all that about then?
    Helena Nana, people have stopped having children.
    Nana ( puts glasses away ) Well that’s it then. We’ve really had it now.
    Helena Please, Nana, don’t talk like that!
    Nana People stopped having children? It’s a punishment, it’s a punishment! The Good Lord’s punished us by making all the women infertile.
    Helena ( jumping up ) Nana!
    Nana ( standing ) It’s the end of the world. You thought you could make people like God, and that was pride the pride of Satan. Godless, that was, heresy, trying to be like God. God’s already thrown people out from Paradise, and now He’s doing it out from the whole world.
    Helena Nana, please just be quiet! What do you think it is I’ve done? Have I harmed you, have I done anything to this spiteful Good Lord or yours?
    Nana ( making large gesture ) Don’t you start blaspheming, now! He knows perfectly well why he didn’t give you no children. ( exit left )
    Helena ( at window ) Why he didn’t... Oh God, how could I help it? ( opens window and calls to Alquist ) Hello, Alquist! Come up here!... What?... No, just come up, just as you are! You look so sweet dressed like a bricklayer! Hurry! ( closes window and stands in front of mirror ) Why didn’t He give me children? Why not me? ( bows down to mirror ) Why not? Why not? Do you hear me? How could I help it? ( standing upright ) Oh, I’m so worried! ( goes out, left, to meet Alquist )
    ( pause )
    Helena ( re-enters with Alquist. Alquist in bricklayers overalls spattered with mortar and brick dust ) Come on in. It was so nice of you, Alquist. They’re all lovely. Let me see your hands.
    Alquist ( hides hands ) Helena, I’d get you dirty, I’ve been working.
    Helena So much the better. Show them to me! ( squeezing both his hands )Alquist, I wish I were a little girl.
    Alquist Why’s that then?
    Helena So that these rough, dirty hands could stroke my face. Alquist, sit down. What does ‘Ultimus’ mean?
    Alquist That means ‘the last’. Why?
    Helena That’s what my new gunboat is called. Have you seen it? Do you think it’s too soon to... to go out on a trip on it.
    Alquist I think it’s much too soon.
    Helena All of you treat me like...
    Alquist I just think.. I think everyone ought to be there.
    Helena Alquist, tell me, is there something going on?
    Alquist Nothing at all. Just the course of events.
    Helena Alquist, I know there’s something horrible going

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