Read Contingent for Free Online

“Braelynn, what’s the matter?” I didn’t respond, I just stared at the coffee table imagining what I did wrong. This was all my fault. I pushed the man I loved most away. “Braelynn . . .” Gus pulled me closer to him. “Did you use anything . . . are you high?”
    That’s the kicker when you’re an addict. When you’re out of your element—when you’re in a state of utter shock—the first thing people think is that you’re using again. I wouldn’t. Though, when Gus mentioned it, a need to feel numb enticed me to look at him.
    “No,” I replied. My tears soaked the decorative pillow I rested my head on. “I . . . uh . . . Peyton and I . . .” I sobbed and Gus’s hands wrapped around me to cradle me to his chest.
    “Shh. It’s okay, baby girl.”
    But it wasn’t okay. I had lost him. Watched him walk out of my life. “It’s over, Gus.”
    The world around me continued. Gus gave me my space to cry and sat beside me, watching TV. He cooked and served me dinner, but I didn’t so much as lift my head. I lay there with a pounding head and tears streaming down my face like a salty waterfall.
    The night had come and gone but I still hadn’t moved; my body had simply shut down. The doorbell rang early the next morning. My neck ached as I looked around me. Gus had slept with me on the couch, and I smiled when I noticed him. Always my protector. Even if it was only a broken heart, he always stood by my side.
    I didn’t move from the couch. Bringing the throw blanket across my face, I closed my eyes, ignoring the outside world.
    Gus pushed my legs to the side and stood to answer the doorbell. Kennedy’s voice rang through the apartment.
    “What happened?” she asked Gus in a low whisper.
    “I don’t know. I found her like this yesterday. She hasn’t moved or eaten anything.”
    “I can hear you, you know,” I grunted under the thin cover.
    Kennedy’s heels clicked against the wood floor. The couch dipped next to me as she pulled the blanket off my face. “You want ice cream?” It was the first thing she asked, her blue eyes bright as she smiled down at me. I had not seen her since her wedding, yet here she was first thing in the morning and her first question was exactly what I needed.
    “Yeah,” I wailed, tears threatening to fall again.
    Kennedy nodded towards Gus and kicked off her shoes, curling up next to me She brushed my hair back to the side. “Lynnie, what happened?”
    I swallowed the porcupine crammed deep in my throat. “We broke up.”
    “Why? You told me everything was going great that last time I emailed you.” Kennedy shifted to make room for Gus on the couch.
    Ice cream in hand, Gus joined the party and handed us each a pint. “It was. Everything was perfect.” I shook my head, doubting what I was about to say. I had yet to tell anyone that he had proposed. “After your wedding, he asked me to marry him. I said no because we weren’t ready—I wasn’t ready. But it wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry him. I do! I just wanted to get my life in order first. So much has happened in the past year, and I wanted to get everything situated before I said yes.
    And then for the past six weeks he’s been asking me to move in, but . . . that’s his house.” I placed the pint on the coffee table to scratch my aching head. “I got a job with the District Attorney’s office and I never told him about it. He seemed pissed, but we never finished discussing it. He avoided me for two days, sleeping in a guest bed and not going to work. It wasn’t until I came back home without letting him know that he showed up here.”
    “Lynnie, I don’t know what to say,” Kennedy whispered.
    “I don’t either. I’m supposed to be happy I got the job and that my life is finally on the right path, but I feel it was the final thing to push him away. This was my fault. I didn’t stop him when he left. I just let him walk out.”
    “Don’t say that. Maybe he is just having a bad couple