include a random hookup with meaningless sex. It was all Chase and Gray’s fault that I changed, and a small part of me was angry that I started questioning my simple lifestyle. “Besides, he’s a grown man.”
“I am well aware that he’s a grown man, Ben. I grew up with him and we’re the exact same age. What’s with your defensive tone? Did you think I came here to bust your balls? That isn’t why I’m here.”
I blew out a frustrated breath as I flopped down in my comfy desk chair. “I’m sorry if I came off rude just now. It’s just really complicated and I’m not sure I want to talk about it.” I began toying with the ink pen on my desk, rolling it back and forth on my desk. I finally looked up at Chase and asked, “Did you know that Xavier thinks I’m straight? I just learned that from Ellie.”
“To be honest, your sexuality hasn’t been brought up in conversation.” Chase grinned wickedly, but wisely held back his laughter when he saw the look on my face. “How can he not see how interested you are in him?” Chase pondered out loud. “It’s so damn obvious that a blind person could see it. You should’ve seen your face when Miller started flirting with him. Gray didn’t intervene to save Xavier from scary old Miller; he was saving Miller from the beat down you were about to hand him.”
“I’m not sure I like that I’ve been so obvious and that he’s the only one who hasn’t noticed. I don’t think he’s into me at all.” I sounded like a whiny, petulant teenage girl.
“That’s because you don’t know him well enough to know the signs. He’s definitely into you, but since he apparently thinks your straight he would do his best to fight his feelings. What good ever comes of letting yourself fall for a straight guy?”
“True, but what should I do here?” It seemed that I did want to talk to Chase about the situation after all. “I know he’s not in a good place right now and I don’t want to push him away, but I can’t let him go on thinking that I’m straight.”
“Just let things fall into place. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to get to know each other better. I’m sure you’ll find a subtle way to show him that you’re into dudes,” Chase offered.
Suddenly I had a vision of me not-so-subtlety showing Xavier how I badly wanted him. I wouldn’t be subtle when I pushed him against a wall and kissed him with every ounce of pent-up frustration I’d felt since I met him. I wouldn’t be subtle when I let my hands roam all over his lean body. I wouldn’t be subtle when I dropped to my knees and . . .
“Where’d you go just now?” Chase’s question interrupted my vivid daydream.
Having a creative imagination was a wonderful thing until you got sucked so far into your fantasy that you forget your surroundings and started to become embarrassingly aroused at work. I opened my mouth to offer some sort of answer that wouldn’t be anywhere close to the truth, but Chase held up his hand for me to stop.
“Forget I asked,” Chase amended with a smirk then rose to his feet quickly. “I’m pretty sure I know where your mind went. I’m getting out of here so you can get to work. I’d hate for the bosses to catch their new Creative Director being lazy.”
“And, as your immediate supervisor, I suggest you get back to your office and create something magical for that delicatessen client. I’m not sure how you’re going to make cold cuts and cheese look sexy, but I have faith in you.”
Chase saluted me saucily and left my office, leaving me to grin at his retreating back. We’d come a long way, Chase and I, since we first met when he came to work here last March. Admittedly, all of the issues between us were my fault. I did absolutely nothing to make him feel welcome, and even went out of my way to be a douche to him. I saw him as the competition and was insecure in my career for the first time in my young life. I behaved like a complete jackass until
Debby Herbenick, Vanessa Schick