down when it comes to asking a dude to dinner.”
Ellie tilted her head cutely while she contemplated the situation. “I think your attraction to him is noticeable to people who know you, like myself, Gray and Chase. Xavier doesn’t know you well enough and I’m not sure his brain is capable of picking up how attracted you are to him right now.” She started to giggle at her desk and quickly covered her mouth. She regained her composure after several seconds and said, “I’m pretty sure that he thinks that you’re . . .” she launched into another giggle fit.
“He thinks . . .” I waved my hand around in exasperation to encourage her to finish her statement.
Ellie sat up straight and dropped the bomb on me. “He thinks you’re straight.” Her lips twitched in mirth, as if she didn’t just blow my universe apart.
“Are you fucking serious?” I stood up and paced the carpet in front of her desk. “How is that even possible? Why does he think that?” I asked, stopping abruptly in front of her desk.
Ellie shrugged casually. “Like I said, I don’t think his head is in the right place and we spend so much time together that people speculate that we’re a couple.”
“El, please tell me that I’ve never misled you or made you believe that . . .”
“You haven’t,” she interrupted. “I’ve always known exactly who you are and I’m so very thankful to have your friendship, Bennett.” She stood up slowly, braced her hands on her desk and closed her eyes a second as if she were feeling dizzy. I started to go to her, but she waved me off once again. “I’m fine, Ben.”
“You’re not fine and I need you to tell me what’s wrong,” I pleaded.
“Ben, please respect my need for privacy. I am fine and there is nothing to worry about.” She slowly walked to me and I automatically reached for her, pulling her into a hug.
She felt slimmer since the last time I hugged her just a few days prior and it scared me to death, but I’d do as she asked. “I’m here for you Ellie; please tell me that you know I’d do anything in the world for you.”
“I do know that and I love you for it. I also want to tell you that I think you’d be the best thing to ever happen to Xavier. I don’t know what the hell happened to him in LA, but it’s taken a huge toll on him. I lost my smiling, happy brother, Ben. I want him back and I think you’re the one who can do that, but I’m afraid it will be a lot of work. I see such hollowness in his eyes and it scares me to death,” Ellie whispered against my chest.
“I’m not afraid of hard work, Ellie. I’ve never really dated before and I’ve never wanted to until I met him. The spark began when he was here a few months last year, but he was gone before I could do anything about it. I saw him at the bachelor party and the spark morphed into a burning blaze. I hear what you’re saying to me; I can and will be patient. However, I’m not willing to let him leave again without him knowing how I feel.” I chuckled lightly, before adding, “And, it seems like I have a pretty big task on my hands since he thinks I’m straight.”
Ellie and I laughed together for a few minutes before I gave her a soft, reassuring kiss on her brow and left to go to my office. I walked into my sanctuary and found it already occupied by Chase Rivers, who was leaning against my desk and facing the door. He studied me through squinted eyes, sort of like an iconic actor best known for westerns. It looked like were about to have a high noon shootout.
“About last Saturday night . . .,” he started in on me.
“Nothing happened, Chase.” I interrupted him before he could continue. I knew he loved Xavier with all of his heart, but I wasn’t ready to have a heart-to-heart with him. Everything I felt for Xavier was new and confusing, but still so fucking exciting. For once in my life, I wanted to be distracted from my work and have plans for my evenings that didn’t
Debby Herbenick, Vanessa Schick