one else ever wants to fuck witâ yoâ ass again. Ya heard? Real shit. Let me find out you got another niggaâs dick in ya throat ânâ itâll be da last dick you swallow. Iâma break eâery muthafuckinâ bone in ya face, then have ya fuckinâ neck cut out.â
I blinked. Tears rolled down my face as this nigga leaned in and stared me dead in the eyes and told me this shit. âNow stop all this cryinâ, yo. Shitâs over.â He started kissinâ my tears. Then gave me another icy stare. âAnd, Pash, if you open ya muthafuckinâ mouth ânâ tell anyone âbout this shit,â he rubbed my pregnant belly, âIâma get at da ones you love da most, yo; startinâ witâ Nana. Then anyone else.â He kissed my stomach. âIâll take eâerything from you. Cheat on me again, yo.â
I gasped, grabbing my stomach. My heart sank. The idle warningto harm my baby was there. The threat to hurt Nana was real. He knew how much Nana meant to me. How much she still means to me. And as bad as I didnât want to believe him, there was something in the way he said it and in the way that he looked at me that made me believe his every word. Besides, after what he had done to me, why would I not take him seriously?
âFuck witâ me if you want, Pash. And you gonna learn.â He sealed it with a kiss on my lips, then said, âNow get some rest.â
Rest? How the fuck was I supposed to rest after he made those kinds of threats? Would he kill my baby? Nana? Would he beat my baby out of me? Would he beat Nana the way heâd beaten me?
I couldnât risk either.
Jasper knows Iâd never call the police on him. Snitching isnât what we do. But sometimes I wish I had told the detectives what happened to me. That he had me kidnapped. That he orchestrated having me sexually violated. He did that shit to me. Maybe his black ass would be behind bars, rotting.
But that wouldnât do shit for me. I still wouldnât know what I needed, wanted, to know.
Truth is, ratting on his ass and seeing him go to prison would have been too easy. I want this nigga to pay, my wayâ¦on my terms. And he will. Not tonight though.
âOh, so you gonna fuckinâ ig a muhfucka now, right?â
I push out a heavy, aggravated breath. âJasper, do whatever you feel; howâs that for an answer?â
I turn my back on him. Start humming in my head, turning on the double showerheads in the glass-encased shower. I feel Jasper staring at me, hard, as I go about pretending heâs invisible. Iâm not arguing with this nigga, especially not when heâs been drinking. My son is not going to be subjected to his craziness. Not tonight.
He yanks me by the arm, pressing me up against the wall. Myheart starts racing. He grabs at my belt buckle. âTake these muthafuckinâ pants off, yo. I know you been fuckinâ some other nigga while ya ass was out there in Cali, yo.â
The crazed look in his eyes tells me he is not going to get out of my face anytime soon unless I give into him.
âNigga, youâre crazy. You know that, right?â
âYeah, yo. Iâm crazy for yoâ dumb ass. You got my dick crazy for this pussy. Now take these muthafuckinâ shits off.â He yanks at my belt. âWhat you want, yo. A muhfucka to take this shit, huh?â
âSo youâre going to rape me, is that it, nigga?â
He scowls. âGo âhead witâ that dumb shit, yo. What da fuck I look like, rapinâ my own wife? Fuck outta here. Iâma take whatâs mine. This pussyâs mine, yo. Donât get it fucked up.â
I give him a disgusted look. âWhat, you wanna smell my pussy? Is that it, Jasper? You wanna sniff to see if another niggaâs dick has been in me?â
His jaw tightens. He gives me a look that says heâll snap my neck right now. âIâm
R.E. Blake, Russell Blake