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one else ever wants to fuck wit’ yo’ ass again. Ya heard? Real shit. Let me find out you got another nigga’s dick in ya throat ‘n’ it’ll be da last dick you swallow. I’ma break e’ery muthafuckin’ bone in ya face, then have ya fuckin’ neck cut out.”
    I blinked. Tears rolled down my face as this nigga leaned in and stared me dead in the eyes and told me this shit. “Now stop all this cryin’, yo. Shit’s over.” He started kissin’ my tears. Then gave me another icy stare. “And, Pash, if you open ya muthafuckin’ mouth ‘n’ tell anyone ’bout this shit,” he rubbed my pregnant belly, “I’ma get at da ones you love da most, yo; startin’ wit’ Nana. Then anyone else.” He kissed my stomach. “I’ll take e’erything from you. Cheat on me again, yo.”
    I gasped, grabbing my stomach. My heart sank. The idle warningto harm my baby was there. The threat to hurt Nana was real. He knew how much Nana meant to me. How much she still means to me. And as bad as I didn’t want to believe him, there was something in the way he said it and in the way that he looked at me that made me believe his every word. Besides, after what he had done to me, why would I not take him seriously?
    â€œFuck wit’ me if you want, Pash. And you gonna learn.” He sealed it with a kiss on my lips, then said, “Now get some rest.”
    Rest? How the fuck was I supposed to rest after he made those kinds of threats? Would he kill my baby? Nana? Would he beat my baby out of me? Would he beat Nana the way he’d beaten me?
    I couldn’t risk either.
    Jasper knows I’d never call the police on him. Snitching isn’t what we do. But sometimes I wish I had told the detectives what happened to me. That he had me kidnapped. That he orchestrated having me sexually violated. He did that shit to me. Maybe his black ass would be behind bars, rotting.
    But that wouldn’t do shit for me. I still wouldn’t know what I needed, wanted, to know.
    Truth is, ratting on his ass and seeing him go to prison would have been too easy. I want this nigga to pay, my way…on my terms. And he will. Not tonight though.
    â€œOh, so you gonna fuckin’ ig a muhfucka now, right?”
    I push out a heavy, aggravated breath. “Jasper, do whatever you feel; how’s that for an answer?”
    I turn my back on him. Start humming in my head, turning on the double showerheads in the glass-encased shower. I feel Jasper staring at me, hard, as I go about pretending he’s invisible. I’m not arguing with this nigga, especially not when he’s been drinking. My son is not going to be subjected to his craziness. Not tonight.
    He yanks me by the arm, pressing me up against the wall. Myheart starts racing. He grabs at my belt buckle. “Take these muthafuckin’ pants off, yo. I know you been fuckin’ some other nigga while ya ass was out there in Cali, yo.”
    The crazed look in his eyes tells me he is not going to get out of my face anytime soon unless I give into him.
    â€œNigga, you’re crazy. You know that, right?”
    â€œYeah, yo. I’m crazy for yo’ dumb ass. You got my dick crazy for this pussy. Now take these muthafuckin’ shits off.” He yanks at my belt. “What you want, yo. A muhfucka to take this shit, huh?”
    â€œSo you’re going to rape me, is that it, nigga?”
    He scowls. “Go ’head wit’ that dumb shit, yo. What da fuck I look like, rapin’ my own wife? Fuck outta here. I’ma take what’s mine. This pussy’s mine, yo. Don’t get it fucked up.”
    I give him a disgusted look. “What, you wanna smell my pussy? Is that it, Jasper? You wanna sniff to see if another nigga’s dick has been in me?”
    His jaw tightens. He gives me a look that says he’ll snap my neck right now. “I’m