Read Resolution (Saviour) for Free Online

sit and look at Gabe ’s phone for a couple of minutes. Then decide to go for it, I know it's wrong, I know it's highly likely that I will find out things that I really don't want to know. But I look regardless. There are lots of missed calls from his brothers, sister, and sisters in law, me and then a couple from late last night. There’s just a number, no name, at least she was a complete random, not someone whose number he has stored. I listen to the voicemails:
    “ Fuck you Gabe. Fuck you!”
     
    Followed by... “I won't fucking forget this you fucking prick!”
    “ That's your lot. Don't you ever talk to me again, you bastard.”
    Okay ... Nothing too incriminating.
     
    Now let’s read the texts.
    Gabe, are you really sure you want to send me home ? There's still so much more I want to do to you ;) Alyssa x
     
    Okay, not so good. So that was Alyssa, an ex, he walked out on me and hooked up with an ex, he hasn’t got her number stored, he must know it, off by heart. I feel sick, now I have to know.
    Gabe pick up your phone. I can sneak back over if you want. Remember, you owe me an orgasm
     
    I feel hot. But I’m cold, my mouth is dry, my heart pounding so hard I can hear my blood rushing through my ears. I know this is going to hurt, I just know. I read the last one. Sent at two am this morning:
     
    That’s the last fucking blow job you will ever get from me you BASTARD!!! '
     
    I throw his phone down on the sofa like its burning me. No, Gabe. No, what did you do?

CHAPTER 3
     
    She gave him a blow job. He probably won't even remember but that's not really the point is it? I sit still for a couple of minutes and try and think clearly. My brain is trying to ignore the panic unfurling in my stomach and clawing at my chest . I stare at the phone, as if it’s going to come up with the answers to all the questions I may or may not want answered. I try to process all that has happened.
    We argued, he went out and left me here on my own just a day after I was assaulted by my estranged husband. He left me here and went out and got drunk and hooked up with an old girlfriend and she gave him a blow job. He then brought her back here and would have probably let her do a whole lot more to him, if he hadn't had the welcoming party from hell waiting for him.
    My mind is whirring but at the same time, I’m strangely calm, I think, deep down, I always knew it would come to this, I always knew I wouldn’t be enough for him, not young enough, not slim or pretty enough, not adventurous enough in bed; I just didn’t think it would be over so soon, I thought we would have a bit of time to work through our lust before he got bored of me, I always knew, deep down, that he would eventually get bored and want to move on, I knew he would, in the end, break my heart, it’s just happened so much sooner than I was ready for and just at a point when I had stupidly began to think that there might be some hope for us to make it, as a couple. How stupid am I? I am approaching middle age, whatever possessed me to make me think there could ever be a future for us? I have this horrible sensation in my chest, like weights have been tied to my heart, it feels heavy, like it’s being pulled down to the pit of my stomach; I gasp in some air, as apparently I forgot to breathe for a bit there and the sound I make as I breathe back out is more like a sob and I clamp my hand over my mouth, I need to get out, get away from him, from all the hope this house represents, the hope, my stupidity, his betrayal, how could he?
    I just don’t understand, he asked me to marry him and then he does that; I feel broken, I need to leave here before I completely fall apart; before I really think any further than this, I'm off the sofa and back in the bedroom. I walk into the wardrobe, pull on some clothes, I throw a few more into a holdall, pack my toiletries and the rest of life’s essentials, I won’t be caught out this time like I was when I left Jason,