Regular Guy

Read Regular Guy for Free Online

Book: Read Regular Guy for Free Online
Authors: Sarah Weeks
said.
    Buzz put down the magazine and pulled a yo-yo out of his pocket. He fiddled with the string, trying to fit his finger through the loop.
    â€œOkay,” he said. “The main thing you have to remember about parents is that they’re not happy unless they think they’re in the driver’s seat, and you can’t tell them anything because they think they know everything already.” He finally got his finger through the loop and executed a couple of wobbly tosses of the yo-yo. “So, if you go down there right now and say ‘Look, there’s been this terrible mix-up and you’ve been raising the wrong kids,’ they’re just going to laugh and ignore you.”
    â€œSo, what do you suggest?” I asked.
    Buzz tried to rock the cradle, but hescrewed up and the yo-yo got tangled.
    â€œObviously, what you’re going to have to do is trick them into figuring this thing out for themselves,” he said as he tried in vain to untangle the string.
    Bob-o was sitting on my bed fidgeting and muttering to himself.
    â€œWhat are you muttering about? If you have something to say about all of this, why don’t you say it out loud,” Buzz said.
    â€œWhy would anyone in their right mind want to be me?” Bob-o asked so loud and clear that both Buzz and I jumped.
    Buzz snorted. “He doesn’t want to be you , Bob-o, he wants to be himself. He just wants to be that self in the right home.”
    â€œYour home looks okay to me,” said Bob-o, looking around. “Why don’t you pick somebody more exciting to be, like a movie star with a swimming pool or one of those big wrestling guys-with all the muscles?” He pulled his neck down into his shoulders, grimaced, and went into a classic musclemanpose that looked so ridiculous I had to laugh.
    â€œI’m glad you two are hitting it off so well all of a sudden, but could we get back to the matter at hand, please?” said Buzz, giving me a look. “Your parents have spent years trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, right, Guy? And Bob-o’s parents have been dealing with a round peg and a square hole.”
    I nodded.
    â€œWhat you need to do is bring the square peg to the square hole and the round peg to the round hole, so they can see what it feels like to be dealing with the right pegs and the right holes.”
    â€œHow do we do that?” I asked.
    â€œYou switch places,” said Buzz simply.
    â€œLike I said,” said Bob-o. “Wouldn’t you rather be—” and he went into his muscleman pose again, baring his teeth and twisting his wrists to make his puny little biceps jump up and down. It really was funny. I would have laughed, but Buzz looked annoyed, so instead I said, “You’re nuts. We don’t exactlylook alike, you know. Don’t you think they’d notice?”
    â€œWhat do you take me for, Guy, an idiot? Tell them it’s a homework assignment for Humanities—you’re trying to prove whether it’s true what they say about how you have to walk a mile in another man’s shoes to really know how he feels. Then, you move into each other’s houses, cozy up to your real folks, drop a few hints, and before you know it they put two and two together and— ta-da! You guys end up living happily ever after in your rightful homes.”
    â€œYou know, Buzzy, for an idiot you’re pretty brilliant,” I said.
    â€œWhy, that tongue of yours could charm the skin right off a rattlesnake, do you know that, sonny?” Buzz said, putting on his accent just like he’d done for Mrs. Dipnower.
    Bob-o giggled.
    â€œCome on, let’s get out of here and get some fresh air,” I said.
    â€œYeah, let’s go to the fort,” said Buzz.
    â€œCool!” said Bob-o, jumping to his feet.
    Buzz and I exchanged a look. We’d never allowed anyone else in the fort, and Bob-o certainly wasn’t high on our list

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