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Nix, as if you haven’t been getting enough oxygen. There are circles under your eyes, and your lips are tinted blue. Classic signs of Onadyn use. I should know. I’ve seen them a thousand times.”
    â€œMom—”
    Tears filled her eyes. “I thought you’d quit. You promised me you would quit this time!”
    â€œBut Mom—”
    â€œI’m so disappointed in you, I’m almost at a loss for words,” she said, cutting me off again. “Did you learn nothing in rehab? Did you forget that drugs can and will kill you?”
    â€œI learned,” I insisted. “I know.”
    She snorted, wiping at the tears with the back of her hand. “I thought you’d wised up and finally realized you were sinking into a dark spiral of unhappiness and death.” As she ranted, she paced the length of my room. She became a blur against the white walls, the metallic vanity, and the holographic photos of my friends. “I mean, God! You once threatened to help a girl kill herself.”
    My cheeks burned in shame.
    â€œI’d never been so mortified and horrified in my life. And now, to find out you’re using the very substance that turned you into that monster yet again…”
    â€œI’m not lying to you. I didn’t get high.”
    â€œOh, really? A strange man found you and brought you home last night. You were unconscious and unresponsive. I thought I was going to have to take you to the hospital so they could give you a transfusion of oxygen-rich blood.”
    â€œA strange man brought me home?” I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. “What did he look like?” Had Ryan brought me here? He’d knocked me out, so it was entirely possible.
    Thinking of the way he’d tricked me, the way he’d unmercifully rendered me unconscious, caused my anger levels to spike. My hands clenched into fists. Why had he done that?
    â€œWhat did he look like?” I insisted.
    â€œWhat does the man’s appearance matter?” my mom said, suddenly hysterical. “He had dark hair and hazel eyes. Happy? He told me he’d found you passed out in the forest and read your ID to learn your address.”
    For some reason, that sounded familiar to me. I didn’t know why, and my head hurt trying to reason it out. I did know the man who brought me home hadn’t been Ryan. His eyes were freaky blue, not hazel.
    â€œThe man could have been a murderer, a rapist, or an alien,” Mom said. “He could have killed you or worse, hurt you to the point you wished he’d killed you, and no one would have known. I would have spent years crying for you, worried about you, praying. Once again my life would have been thrown into turmoil because of you .”
    â€œI swear to God I’m clean!” Maybe I would hunt Ryan down. He’d been there. He knew the truth. My mom refused to believe me, but maybe she’d believe him.
    â€œI’m so frustrated with you, Nix. The drugs are destroying us, and I can’t take it anymore.”
    â€œMom, you have to believe me!” My voice broke. I kept my gaze on her, silently begging her to trust me. Just this once. I was a different person now and wanted her to see it, to acknowledge it. “You can test…my oxygen levels,” I finished lamely. If my water level was down, would my oxygen levels be down, too? If so, I’d appear guilty. “Mom, please.”
    â€œChanged your mind about the test, did you?” Laughing without humor, she tangled her hand in her pale hair; the sound of that humorless laughter echoed off the walls. Her shoulders sagged with dejection. “I’m sorry, Nix, but the evidence speaks for itself. I don’t need to pay for a test.”
    My stomach knotted painfully. I’d never done anything to earn her trust, I knew that and was ashamed of it. I don’t know why I’d expected it now. But for the first time in years, I was