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me,” Jude said as he watched Brandon’s head fall.
    “I’m mostly mad at myself right now,” he explained and was silent for several moments before his head snapped up and he looked over his shoulder at Jude. His brows were pulled together and he looked pensive. “Can I ask you something?” Brandon turned and let his shoulders fall against the glass. Jude held his hands up in invitation.
    “When have I ever hid anything from you?” He asked and Brandon’s eyes became distant for a moment before they returned to Jude.
    “Don’t you ever worry that all of these random hook-ups are going to blow up on you?” He crossed his arms over his chest and Jude bit his lip as he considered.
    “I’m always really careful and you know I get tested every three months,” Jude stated and Brandon shook his head.
    “No. I mean, don’t you ever worry about running into these guys and having to face them?” Brandon asked and Jude shrugged.
    “I don’t have a dog… So, not really.” He knew he was being obtuse and grinned as Brandon snorted. “I run into someone now and then. We’ll usually do the guy nod and go about our business. Sometimes, we’ll stop and talk about basic things if we feel like there might be some mutual interest in hooking up again. Or, if things are conducive, we’ll hook-up again.” Jude saw a faint frown tug at Brandon’s lips.
    “It’s as simple as that?” He asked in disbelief and Jude nodded.
    “Generally. We’re guys, Brandon. We’re not very deep creatures and we’re all after the same thing. I make sure I don’t give off the boyfriend material vibe and I leave the poetry at home. Most of the time, I’m only out the cost of a few drinks,” Jude explained and Brandon shook his head.
    “That doesn’t get old?” Brandon’s eyes searched Jude’s and for a moment Jude’s chest felt like it was being squeezed and he had to clear his throat to get past the tightness. Of course it gets old but I don’t really have a choice, do I? He wasn’t sure what Brandon saw but he flinched. Jude set the rock down and hopped to his feet.
    “It serves its purpose. I don’t need some clingy head case making demands. I like my life the way it is,” Jude explained tightly before he strode from the room. He knew he was running from the conversation but he didn’t care. Despite his claim that he had nothing to hide, Jude knew that he was always hiding one very big secret and at that moment, the weight of it was crushing him.

Chapter 11
     
    Of course Brandon felt like an ass for the rest of the day. He had no business questioning Jude about his sex life. It had been that irrational jealousy and in a way Brandon was lashing out because he felt like he was losing his mind. As a result, Brandon was left with a shit load of guilt for cross examining Jude and judging him. When would he have time for a real relationship? He’s too busy keeping your life together, Brandon groaned as he pushed away from his desk and stood. He found Jude on the back patio nursing a beer. Brandon sighed as he reclined in the chair next to Jude’s.
    “I was thinking I’d stop at the pet store after I drop Noah off at school tomorrow and get him one of those tiny red-eared sliders in a small aquarium. Kind of like the set-up you had when we were eight,” Jude said as he watched two squirrels fighting on the lawn. Brandon grinned and nodded.
    “Sure,” he agreed as he rested his elbows on his knees. “Look, about earlier…” Brandon cringed as he looked over and Jude raised a brow. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business and I don’t want you to think that I believe you’re doing anything wrong.” Brandon paused and Jude’s eyes searched Brandon’s.
    “But you asked.” He sounded almost disappointed and Brandon rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to figure out what to say.
    “That had nothing to do with you, really. I’m going through something and I think I was just taking