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don’t be ridiculous.
     
    ADAM: What’s your real name?
     
    LUDWIG: Ludwig
     
    ADAM: ( blank stare at Ludwig then looking at now sleeping and loudly snoring old man hooked up to multitude of machines )
    And him? His name?
     
    NESTOR: It’s actually funny you said that thing about any of us being named Tom. Funny in a coincidental way I mean. An amazing coincidence really if you think about it.
     
    ( Others agree nonverbally. )
     
    ADAM: So his name’s Tom?
     
    NESTOR: Chuck but you can call him Charles.
     
    ADAM: So why ( thinking better of it ) I’m just going to sit over here if that’s okay.
     
    CLARISSA: Suit yourself Tom we were just moaning when you came in.
     
    ADAM: I’m not Tom.
     
    NESTOR: Of course not but your name is Tom and we were undoubtedly moaning when you came in.
     
    ADAM: My name is most definitely not Tom, it’s Adam. No ( angry at himself ) it’s not Adam!
     
    LUDWIG: Fine but one thing you can’t deny, Not-Adam, is that we were moaning when you came in and furthermore that moaning is undoubtedly contagious.
     
    NOT-ADAM: My name is not Adam.
     
    CLARISSA: Yeah, we heard you the first time.
     
    NOT-ADAM: No I’m making a negative statement here. I’m saying that when I tell you my name, which I will do shortly, that name will not be Adam.
     
    NESTOR: ( slowly ) So why’d you say we should call you Adam with the aforementioned ambiguity?
     
    NOT-ADAM: I didn’t. ( frustrated )
     
    LUDWIG: There’s a very simple way to end all this Not-Adam, one that I’m sure has occurred to you.
     
    NOT-ADAM: Yes, of course.
     
    LUDWIG: Simply tell us why you insist on being called Adam when that is not your duly-given, Christian name.
     
    NOT-ADAM: No. ( more frustrated )
     
    CLARISSA: You refuse to tell us why the insistence?
     
    NOT-ADAM: No I’m saying that the way to end this is to tell you all my actual name. My name is—
     
    NESTOR: And to admit that we were moaning when you came in.
     
    NOT-ADAM: Right. No! Moaning? What? ( no one responds ) Anyway, my name is… what moaning?
     
    NESTOR: Which moaning.
     
    NOT-ADAM: That’s what I’m asking.
     
    NESTOR: Which or what though?
     
    NOT-ADAM: What?
     
    NESTOR: Really? Because I lean to which.
     
    NOT-ADAM: Huh?
     
    NESTOR: No, huh-moaning makes no sense, I simply must draw the line there.
     
    NOT-ADAM: What?
     
    NESTOR: Fine, I concede and it’s settled.
     
    LUDWIG: How?
     
    CLARISSA: When?
     
    NESTOR: Where?
     
    ( Not-Adam is rapidly moving his gaze to each speaker. )
     
    CLARISSA: Why?
     
    LUDWIG: When?
     
    NESTOR: Said that already.
     
    LUDWIG: When?
     
    NESTOR: Before.
     
    LUDWIG: Who?
     
    CLARISSA: Me.
     
    LUDWIG: Right.
     
    NESTOR: Left.
     
    CLARISSA: No, wrong. That right.
     
    NOT-ADAM: Could we not talk for a while? I’ll take this one.
     
    ( He takes the middle bed. )
     
    CLARISSA: To answer your earlier question the moaning referred to went something like this.
     
    ( She demonstrates but the moans of ostensible pain soon take on a decidedly sexual aspect and as such the moans soon entrance the room’s other inhabitants including Charles who sits up to get a better look .)
     
    NESTOR: So, Adam, welcome is what we’re saying.
     
    NOT-ADAM: ( not responding because staring at Clarissa )
     
    NESTOR: Adam?
     
    NOT-ADAM: It’s not… ( frustrated then resigned ) fine. Thank you.
     
    LUDWIG: Just him or all of us?
     
    ADAM: ( puzzled )
     
    LUDWIG: Far as thanks go.
     
    ADAM: Sorry, thank you all for the warm though luke welcome that has served only to add dis to someone who for all his significant difficulties was on entrance at least oriented and combobulated.
     
    CLARISSA: Seriously we have far more crucial matters to attend to than the torturing of someone who’s obviously easily disoriented.
     
    ADAM: Easily?
     
    CHARLES: And discombobulated.
     
    LUDWIG: Oh it speaks!
     
    NESTOR: Goodness Chuck.
     
    CHARLES: Charles for short, I insist.
     
    NESTOR: We didn’t take