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alley behind the Student Center. As soon as I saw Jennifer coming, I started stuffing eggs down my throat.

    I threw up all over my own shoes. Yellow chunks poured from my mouth and nose. I waited for Jennifer to hurry over to help me.
    â€œOoh, totally gross!” she cried, holding her nose. “Bernie, why don’t you grow up ?” She turned and galloped away.
    â€œOh, wow. That went well,” I muttered. I stared down at the yellow glop on my shoes.
    Strike three. Bernie is out.
    My shoes made squishy sounds as I trudged back to Rotten House. I didn’t care. I failed to get Jennifer back. I knew that tomorrow I’d be doing an all-nighter—alone in my room!

Chapter 20
A D EADLY T UG OF W AR
    The All-Nighter started with a barbeque blowout in the Dining Hall. Chef Baloney and his helpers stood beside huge barbeque grills. They served up tons of smoking hot dogs, burgers, chicken, and ribs.
    I gazed around the brightly decorated hall. The theme of this year’s party was “Pond Life.” Giant lily pads and paper pond scum hung from the rafters. And some awesome artist had painted a huge mural of snails and leeches and fish skeletons.
    â€œTotally excellent!” I exclaimed to April-May as we stepped into the line for food.
    â€œDon’t talk to me,” she said. “Pretend you’re not with me.”
    Well, I know. You’re probably wondering what Bernie B. was doing at the party. And how I got there with April-May June.
    Simple. About ten minutes before the party started, April-May realized that she and I were the only ones without dates. So she came to see me.
    I could tell she was crazy about me. “Bernie,” she said, “I’d rather hammer rusty nails into my ears. But what choice do I have? I have to ask you to the All-Nighter.”
    Yes! YES! Sweet!
    What a night for the great Bernie B.! I’m at the party with the coolest, hottest girl in school. I’m gonna GET RICH QUICK with my flashlights and sweatshirts. AND Sherman Oaks is stuck with The Ecch.
    Could life get any sweeter?
    â€œEnjoy your dinners, everyone!” Mrs. Pocketlint shouted. She and Mr. Pocketlint stood at a microphone in the front of the hall. “Don’t eat too much. You want to be light and fast for the soccer game, thethree-legged race across Pooper’s Pond, and the treasure hunt.”
    At the end of our table, my buddies Feenman and Crench were tossing chicken wings back and forth, catching them in their teeth . Those two dudes know how to party !
    April-May stood up and shouted to everyone, “I’m not really here with Bernie! I know it looks like I’m here with Bernie. But I’m not.”
    She’s so cute.
    I raised my cheeseburger to my mouth. But I didn’t get to take a bite. Because I felt a hard tap on my shoulder.
    I spun around. “Jennifer? What do you want?”
    â€œI changed my mind,” she said. “You’re my date now.”
    I dropped the cheeseburger. “Are you crazy?” I cried. “It’s too late. The party started already. Go back to Sherman.”
    â€œIt’s never too late,” Jennifer cooed, “when a girl is in love.” She started licking the back of my neck.
    â€œYuck!” I groaned. “Get that cow tongue off me!Jennifer, why are you doing this?”
    She grinned. Her one brown eye and one blue eye sparkled. “See what Sherman gave me? He said I could have this if I went back to you.” She held up a hundred-dollar bill.
    April-May gasped. She stared at the money. “Jennifer,” she said, “you can’t let a boy bribe you like that.”
    â€œSure, I can!” Jennifer said. She bent down and started licking my neck again.
    April-May grabbed my left arm. “I don’t want to be here with Bernie,” she told Jennifer. “I’d rather have huge purple spots all over my body. But—this isn’t fair !”
    â€œLet