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Dining Hall. I looked up and saw April-May June heading our way.
    â€œI know why she’s coming over here,” I told them. “Sherman has been captured by The Ecch. So April-May needs a date to the All-Nighter. I won’t make her beg for too long.”
    April-May stepped up to our table. Her blond ponytail swung behind her. She kept clenching her fists. “Jennifer ruined everything,” she said. “She knew Sherman was my date.”
    I crinkled up my eyes the way that always drives girls crazy. “So you’ve come to ask me instead?” I said.
    April-May spit her gum into my chicken soup. “Bernie,” she said, “I’d rather have my tongue pulled out through my nose.”

    I laughed. “You’re a great kidder. Yes, I’ll go with you.”
    She clamped a hand onto my shoulder. “You have to get Jennifer back,” she said. “You have to fix this. You have to get her back so I can go with Sherman.”
    â€œGet her BACK? No way!” I cried. “It took me months to get rid of her!”
    April-May shrugged. “Then you won’t have a date for the party, Bernie. You’ll be sitting by yourself in your room—with those two big cartons.”
    I swallowed. “And I’ll be totally broke?”
    April-May nodded.
    I let out a sigh. “Maybe you have a point,” I said. “But how can I get Jennifer back? The party is tomorrow night.”
    â€œYou’ll think of something,” April-May said. She patted me on the shoulder and hurried away.
    I shook my head sadly. Get The Ecch back? Don’t even think about it! I told myself. But, did I have a choice?
    â€œWow,” Feenman said. “April-May had a weird way of begging you.”
    Crench had his eyes on my soup bowl. “Bernie,do you want that?” he asked.
    â€œNo. Take it,” I said.
    He reached into the soup, pulled out April-May’s gum, and popped it into his mouth.

Chapter 19
“M MMMWWWWWAAAAAAAAH !”
    Chills ran down my back. I shook. I staggered. My eyes bulged. My tongue hung out of my mouth and wagged like a dog’s tail. My whole head shook like a bobblehead doll’s.
    But I had no choice. I had to get The Ecch back before tomorrow night. And I knew how to do it.
    Jennifer loved it when I acted like a creep and a klutz and a jerk. She thought that was the BEST. No matter what I did, she thought it was awesome.
    All I had to do was repeat all those creepy, klutzy, jerky things. I knew I’d have her back in no time.
    I rounded up the first-grade kids again. I waited for Jennifer to walk by Rotten House with Sherman. And I dropped water balloons onto the little kids.
    Leaning out my dorm window, I saw Jennifer turn to Sherman. “Bernie is so immature,” she said. “ You’d never do anything like that, Shermie Pie.” They kept walking.
    Strike one. That didn’t work. No prob!
    I remembered how Jennifer liked it when I stuck my head into Sherman’s karaoke machine and wrecked it. I found Sherman onstage in the auditorium. Jennifer was watching him repair the machine.
    â€œHey, guys,” I said, climbing onstage. “Here, Sherman. Let Bernie B. give you a hand. I know just how to fix these things.”
    I fiddled with some dials. Then I stuck my head inside the machine again. “Help! I’m stuck! I’m stuck!” That had to win Jennifer back.
    â€œBernie, how can you be such a total spaz?” she snarled. She tugged my head free, then gave me a boot in the butt that sent me flying into the seats. “Get lost!”
    Okay, okay. Strike two.

    But, no prob. I still had the hard-boiled-egg-eating contest. Jennifer went nuts for that. I remembered how it totally impressed her.
    The guys didn’t want to do another egg-eating contest. They said they were still urping up egg fromthe last one. I had to bribe them with free flashlights and sweatshirts.
    We got ready in the