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is watering just looking at it. Cal emerges from the guest room, waits for Merry Carole to sit, and then seats himself. She slaps my hand as I reach out for the plate of ribs.
    â€œWe’re saying grace, Queen Elizabeth,” Merry Carole says, her eyes narrowed.
    â€œAll right then, Jesus,” I say then quickly correct myself. “Sorry.”
    Cal laughs.
    Merry Carole takes my hand and Cal the other. We close our eyes.
    â€œThank you, Lord, for the feast you have provided us with and for your continued love and guidance. Thank you for blessing me with a strong, healthy boy who any mom would be proud of. But on this night I want to thank you for bringing my baby sister home safe and sound to us, oh Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.” Merry Carole finishes, her eyes fluttering open as mascara streams down her face. She has yet to let go of my hand.
    â€œAmen,” I say, squeezing her hand and smiling as I try to swallow a wave of tears.
    â€œAmen,” Cal says, watching us like a tennis match.
    â€œNow dig in so we can get to burning them clothes of yours,” Merry Carole says with a wink.

4
    Crow
(and two eggs over medium, wheat toast, house potatoes, and a cup of coffee)
    I sleep like the dead. I remember starting to think about New York and being back in North Star and where I was going to go next and then the sun cracks through the red, white, and blue window treatments, letting me know it’s morning. I dreamed of nothing, and looking at the deep indentation I made in the little twin bed, I didn’t move all night.
    â€œGood morning.” I yawn, walking into the kitchen.
    â€œGood morning,” Merry Carole says, turning around from the kitchen counter.
    â€œCal still asleep?” I say, pulling a stool up to the breakfast bar.
    â€œFootball practice starts at six AM . He should be home soon, actually.”
    â€œThat sounds terrible.”
    â€œThat’s just the first practice. His second one is tonight when the sun goes down.”
    â€œSo, where can I get a cup of coffee around here?” I ask.
    â€œRight there in the coffeemaker,” Merry Carole says, now leaning against the kitchen counter.
    â€œNo, I mean like buy a cup of coffee. Is there a Starbucks here yet?” I ask.
    â€œYou can go to the Homestead,” Merry Carole says.
    â€œI don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”
    â€œWell, I heard there’s a new coffee place called Around the Corner. It’s fifteen miles outside of town,” Merry Carole says, taking a seat at the table with her steaming mug of coffee.
    â€œMaybe I’ll try that,” I say.
    â€œOr you could just have a cup at home from that coffeemaker right there, you know—for free.” She sips.
    â€œI think I’m looking for stuff to do, you know? A plan,” I say, hopping down off my stool and walking toward the coffeemaker. I pour myself a cup.
    â€œThe creamer is in the fridge.” Merry Carole guides.
    â€œThanks.” I pull open the refrigerator and am way too excited about the assortment of International Delight creamers that line the door. I choose the French Vanilla and pour it reverently into my mug. I breathe it in.
    â€œYou’re welcome to help me out in the salon anytime you want. I know Fawn and Dee are dying to see you.”
    â€œI’d like that.”
    â€œReally?” Merry Carole is caught off guard.
    â€œI mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking forward to telling and retelling the tale of the string of epic failures that have led to me returning to a town I basically gave the finger to lo those many years ago.” I sit down at the dining room table and take a sip of coffee.
    â€œSure.”
    Merry Carole and I fall silent.
    â€œCal’s a great kid,” I finally say.
    â€œIsn’t he?”
    â€œAnd he looooves you.”
    â€œHe’s all I’ve had through all—” Merry Carole stops herself.