Read Not That Easy for Free Online

going to uni.
    I’m really good at:
    Making my friends laugh. Generally at me, not with me.
    The first things people usually notice about me:
    My 36Ds.
    Favorite books, movies, shows, music and food:
    The question has put these in the wrong order—food comes above all these things. Will eat pretty much anything.
    Love romcoms, old Disney films and trashy American TV.
    Listen to everything from oldschool rap to Taylor Swift.
    My favorite books have to have a female protagonist because not enough of them do. And I just prefer reading about women, you know?
    Studied English Lit at uni so am a bit of a bookworm.
    The six things I could never do without:
    My friends
    Black clothing (am not a goth. Black is just my color)
    Tortellini (only thing I can cook)
    Cheese (ditto)
    The Internet
    Support bras
    I spend a lot of time thinking about:
    Being a woman and a feminist in the twenty-first century. Very challenging when people think it means you’re a hairy lesbian.
    On a typical Friday night I am:
    Passed out drunk in an alleyway. Normally with my friends lying on top of me.
    The most private thing I’m willing to admit:
    I was a virgin until twenty-one.
    I’m looking for:
    Whatever you can give me.
    You should message me if:
    You read to the bottom of this and still want to date me.
    N.B. Bonus points if you can spell.
    â€œSo, what do you guys think?” I asked. There was a four-second silence while Lara and Emma looked at each other.
    â€œUm, it’s . . . very honest,” said Emma slowly. “The virgin thing is particularly, uh . . . Ellie,
why
did you put that in?”
    â€œBecause I want to be honest. I feel like this is a chance for me to meet guys who like me for me, and respect me. I just want to make sure I end up sleeping with someone who doesn’t care that I only just lost my V-plates.”
    â€œYeah, you’re going to have to take that out,” said Lara bluntly.“And—support bras? You want to seduce these men, not scare the shit out of them. Also, the 36Ds? Ellie, that’s just cheap, as is the fact that you’re looking for
whatever they can give you
.”
    â€œThat was flirty,” I said hotly.
    â€œIs the fact that you can only cook pasta and are clearly having an existential crisis flirty too?” she asked.
    Emma nodded in agreement. “Babe, they don’t need to know all this stuff up front. Maybe just tone it down a bit?” She looked at my crestfallen face. “I mean, I love that it’s so
you
, but I’m not really sure it works. Like, the passed out drunk in an alleyway part sounds a bit . . . wrong.”
    Lara snorted with laughter and I turned to her angrily. “It isn’t
wrong
; it’s just
funny
. I said I’m good at making my friends laugh and I was trying to prove my point.” They were now both laughing hysterically into their glasses of rosé. “Ugh, whatever. If you think you can do better, why don’t you take over?”
    â€œI thought you’d never ask,” said Lara, grabbing the laptop. “Come on, Emma, let’s fix this.”
    ELK123
22, London
    My self-summary:
    I live in East London and work in the media. Studied English at uni and am now wondering why.
    What I’m doing with my life:
    Interning for a high-profile online magazine.
    I’m really good at:
    Making my friends laugh.
    The first things people usually notice about me:
    My smile.
    Favorite books, movies, shows, music and food:
    Love romcoms, old Disney films and trashy American TV.
    Listen to everything from old-school rap to drum and bass.
    Favorite authors range from Jane Austen to Jack Kerouac.
    The six things I could never do without:
    My friends
    Clothes
    Alcohol
    Coffee
    Novels
    Saturday nights
    I spend a lot of time thinking about:
    How fun last weekend was.
    On a typical Friday night I am:
    Out drinking with my friends.
    The most private thing I’m willing to