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I’m sure he enjoys my company so I
don’t think I’m being too selfish in wanting him around.
    I glance around at my living room, looking for a
distraction. We’ve done a good job and it already feels like home. It’s not the
best place in the world and it could do with some paint and new curtains but I
feel like the purple vases and candles I picked out the other day have made it
‘mine.’ I’m secretly kind of proud of them, as if they’re a mark of my new
independence.  Rob used to control everything. I cleaned the house but he
bought everything, made it look exactly how he wanted it. I realize now he even
did the same with me. Chose my clothes and got annoyed if I didn’t look how he
wanted me too. It was bizarre really. For a man who didn’t want his wife
anymore, he really cared how I appeared. But then, to Rob, appearance was
everything. The best clothes, the best furnishings. Everything had to be
perfect and if it wasn’t... well, he only struck out the once, but his temper
was scary enough. His icy cold looks and moody ways were enough to stop me from
causing a fuss. It’s weird how sometimes you don’t even recognize how bad things
were until you’re out of the situation.
    “Oh.” I jump up when my gaze settles on the box in the
corner, and I remember what I meant to ask Nick. “I have a box of… of Rob’s
stuff. Some old Marine things. Is there anything you want? I don’t really know
what to do with it,” I admit.
    He shrugs. “I guess I could take a look. Don’t you
want to keep any of it?”
    I stroll over to the box that I’d abandoned next to
the TV and kneel to peel it open. “I don’t know to be honest. I feel bad. I
don’t even have anyone to send the stuff to. I don’t suppose his foster family
would want any of it.”
    “No,” he agrees. “I don’t suppose so.”
    They hadn’t even attended the funeral. The last family
he’d been with had been glad to be rid of the ‘trouble maker’, I think.
    My heart pangs as I spot our wedding album. I gingerly
pull it out and chew my lip as I run my fingers over the lace covering.
    Nick leans forward, elbows on his knees. “You going to
keep that?”
    “I don’t know.” I flip it open and trace one of the
black and white photos.
    We’re cutting the cake and I look… happy. Was I
though? I remember being swept away by him. He was so outrageous, so fun, so
charming. I never even questioned it when he asked me to marry him. Rob looks
happy too. So what went so wrong?
    “Sometimes,” I say, voice catching slightly, “I wonder
if I was ever happy. I keep searching for a moment where I was but I think it
just went straight downhill after we married.”
    He leans forward and takes the album from my
unresisting hands. As he studies the pictures, a soft smile comes across his
face. “You were stunning that day. I think Rob was pretty excited to be
marrying you.”
    “You think?” I come to my feet and sit back next to
him.
    “Yeah. You were the girl everyone wanted. He was
stoked to have snagged you.”
    “Ah.” Well that explained a lot. Rob always wanted
what others lusted after whether it was a car or a job or a… wife. “I guess he
lost interest once he caught me.”
    Nick flicks his gaze back over the album and closes it
gently. “I know he was my best friend, but I can’t defend how he treated you.”
    My breath sticks in my throat and I glance around for
an escape. How did we get so deep so quick? I don’t want to be talking about
this. I just want to put everything to do with Rob behind me and move on. It’s
one of Nick’s only flaws really — that he was Rob’s friend. It makes it harder for me to
forget.
    “What about you anyway?” I ask desperately. “You
planning on doing anything like that any time soon.” I nudge him as I motion
toward the wedding album. “You’re not getting any younger.”
    He chuckles. “Let’s just say I learned my lesson after
Liberty.”
    I nod sympathetically but really