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hadn’t guessed that he was gay until he’d made it clear.
    What’s real? What’s a pose? What are people you haven’t met yet like? How can you tell?
    Life as new Gaia was getting interesting.

the power
    And for just one moment Gaia could see it in Jake’s eyes: actual terror. Real live childlike terror.

OLIVER
    Dear Gaia,
    You and I have so much catching up to do. Years’ and years’ worth. So I thought I might try writing you letters. For me as much as for you, I suppose. Just to try and connect with you as much and as often as possible. I need that.
    I’m writing for two reasons. The first is to let you know just how sorry I am for everything that’s happened. It isn’t easy for me to face the truth of what I was and what I’ve done over the years—to you, to your father, to your poor mother, and to so many innocent people. The only chance I have of finding any kind of peace is if I try to keep making amends and try to devote myself to being the best person I can be and the best uncle I can be to you. When I look in the mirror, I want to see plain Oliver Moore and not that monster, Loki, and all the terrible things he’s done. That’s only possible if I make amends with thepeople I’ve hurt. And that means Tom and you. Gaia.
    Here’s the second reason I’m writing, Gaia. I want you to know that you can depend on me. You’re a very brave and very intelligent young woman, and you certainly don’t need an old uncle’s help to live your life. You’ve shown over and over again that you’re more than capable of holding your own. But if there’s anything you need, ever, at any time—especially with Tom out of New York—please don’t hesitate to let me know, and I’ll take care of it. It would be an honor.
    Like you, I’m sure, I’m doing my best to resume a normal life and put all the events of the past behind me. I’ve moved into this new apartment on Broome Street. It’s not that far from your school—just a short walk across town. I’d love it if you came by to see it. You’re welcome anytime, along with Jake or any of your friends you want to bring, whenever you just want to get away from everything and relax.
    It’s strange, as a middle-aged man, to try to resume a life that I never really led to begin with. But it feels good to be doing the right thing and to be on the right side again. I don’t know how I ever could have gotten so lost and so turned around, as I was for all those years. It seems like just yesterday that I was wrestling with your father when we were kids or dropping by that rat’s nest of an apartment he had up by Columbia. Those memories are so vivid, it’s hard to believe that I’ve been robbed of all the time—time I could have been spending with you or your father or even with Katia. I’d give anything to go back and do it over, but of course that’s impossible.
    Nikolai is dead already—I know that. There’s no way to kill him again for what he did to me, to all of us. And of course Yuri is finally out of our lives. I find it difficult to think about that—that monster, that abomination—without being overcome with rage. All the thingshe took from us, from all of us; things we can never get back. . . . It’s probably best for me not to think about that.
    But I can’t help it. In the end, the blame goes all the way around, doesn’t it? We all played our parts in the big game, and we each made our mistakes. In the end, it was a game about being smart, wasn’t it? About having the willpower and the intelligence to control events by controlling the people around you. Gaia, if you had joined my side, we could have taken control of all of it. I’m sure you realize that. The smartest and bravest people end up in charge, and who can argue with that? It was stupidity, plain human stupidity that