slender nails with colour. She must have heard the anxiety in my voice. I could hear it as clearly as the church bells that wake me up every Sunday morning in Derbyshire, even after all these years. Liberty flicked her eyelids upwards. It was the briefest of glances, not nearly long enough for me to look into her eyes and try to work out what she was really thinking.
âI just mean that Marshingtonâs really boring compared to London.â
âIâm sure Iâll cope,â I replied. âIâll just have to, wonât I? You never know, living here may turn out to be better than I think. At least thatâs what Iâm telling myself.â
I waited for her to tell me I was right. She didnât. Iâve got this really stubborn streak. Gran says that I get it from Dad and she obviously doesnât see it as a quality to be cultivated. Actually I think stubbornness gets a bad name. Sometimes it can be useful. This was one of those times. I didnât want Liberty to make me feel worse and the fact that she was being so negative made me determined to do my best to prove her wrong. I wasnât sure that Iâd ever had a light bulb moment before but suddenly my choice was before me, as clear as those crystal decanters on Granâs sideboard. I could spend the next few months or years of my life eaten up with resentment or I could accept the move and make the best of it. If resentment won then I would have let others take control of my life, of my future.
âSometimes these things happen for the best.â That was one of the things Gran used to say and when I thought that she was referring to Dad it made me really angry, but maybe in this respect she could be proved right, I thought. People, especially my old teachers, were always telling me these were meant to be the best years of my life. I didnât want to go through them holding myself back, closing myself down, didI? It wouldnât be easy, starting at a new school, making new friends, but at least I had Liberty to help. Maybe, just maybe, if I threw myself into everything, this move might not be the third worst thing that had ever happened to me in my entire life after losing Dad and Grandad.
âBesides,â I said to Liberty, faking a determination that was still germinating inside of me, âIâm luckier than lots of people, arenât I?â
She raised an eyebrow and twisted her glossed lips, signalling disbelief. I carried on regardless.
âIâve got you to help me with things like school. You can introduce me to people and help me to settle in. Loads of people donât have that.â
She was very still for a moment, as if weighing up her options.
âNo, they donât,â she said at last, balancing the bottle of nail polish on the arm of the sofa and holding up one hand for admiration. âWe might not be in the same class though.â
I perched on the opposite arm.
âLib, whatâs wrong? Have I done something to upset you? I thought youâd be pleased thatwe can spend more time together.â
She looked up then, straight at me. I thought she might be about to cry.
âOf course Iâm pleased.â
The âbutâ hung in the air like a giant hoverfly.
âItâs justâ¦â she shrugged, â⦠things have been a bit tense here. My mum and yours havenât exactly been getting on well lately.â
âThatâll sort itself out,â I said. âBesides, just because Mum and Aunt Jane arenât best friends at the moment doesnât mean we have to fall out, does it? Itâs not a question of taking sides, is it?â
She uncurled, shuffled across the sofa and draped her arms around my neck.
âNo, of course not. Youâre right. Youâre always right, Laura. I wish I was as sensible as you.â
I laughed, felt my spine soften with the relief that she seemed more like herself.
âYeah right, sensible