That’s what I would like to tell him anyways.
“What are you thinking about over there?” Kyle asks in his sleepy voice that is oh so sexy. I swear the sound of his voice has me wet and wanting him. What is the equivalent of blue balls for women? Blue boobs, maybe? Well, whatever it is, I have it. He also has that lopsided smirk on his face. He knows I’m daydreaming about him. The cocky bastard.
“Oh. Nothing really. Just thinking I would like to go to the center today. Maybe it could spark a memory or two.” I smile my most innocent smile, playing it off as nothing. Maybe he doesn’t know I was thinking dirty things about him again. Just then, he stands up and the blanket falls to the floor. Big, beautiful muscles and black silk boxers are all I see. When he reaches over his head and stretches, those muscles flex and tighten. My mouth is hanging open and of course, he notices. He starts to laugh as he saunters over and sits on the bed next to me. His leg brushes mine and my body is instantly on fire.
“If you feel that you are ready, then I think that’s a good idea,” he says with a slight squeak in his voice, as his leg brushes mine again. Ha! At least he feels it too. Maybe even a little more. He quickly gets up from the bed. “I’m going to take a shower in the guest bath, then I’ll make us some breakfast. Come down when you’re ready.”
The drive to the center is over too quickly. As Kyle pulls into the parking lot, that familiar feeling sweeps over me. No memories, just the feeling that I know this place; that I’ve been here before. I can feel my palms starting to sweat and it’s suddenly hard to catch my breath. How are the people who work here going to react to me? What about the kids? They’re going to know me, but I won’t know them. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. I’m so lost in my own head that when Kyle grabs my hand, it startles me.
“Princess, you don’t have to do this today. We can turn around and go home. I’ll be right beside you, whatever you decide.”
“I’m okay. I’m just nervous.” He squeezes my hand, slowly moving his thumb back and forth along the top. It’s such a simple gesture, but it eases my nerves and awakens a fire in my core at the same time. Why does that little bit of contact from him have such an effect on me?
“I know you are. I wish there was something, anything, I could do to make this all go away for you. I would do anything if it meant you didn’t have to go through the hell you’ve been through. I am always here for you. You can hold my hand for comfort.” He squeezes my hand a little tighter and gives me a heart-melting smile. “When you’re scared, you can find safety in my arms. I will always protect you. When you’re mad or frustrated, you can scream and yell at me. Trust me, I can take it. I just want you to be happy and I will do whatever it takes to help make that happen.”
Well, if I weren’t already in love with him, then I sure as shit am now. He leaves me speechless when he says things like that. And he does, often. But, it’s not just his words; it’s the look in his eyes as well. They say so much more to me than his words ever could. Lust, love, guilt — the emotions playing across his beautiful blue irises are enough to make me weep. His loves shines brightly, but he thinks he failed me. I wish I could make him see how much I want him. How much I need him to let me shoulder the weight. Gathering my strength, I can only hope that he understands.
“I am so thankful that I have you. I don’t think I would’ve been able to make it through any of this without you. You have been more than patient with me. This whole ordeal hasn’t been easy for you either, but you have only been worried about taking care of me.”
“As long as you are happy, so am I.” He leans over and kisses my forehead. “If you get too uncomfortable, just say the word and we’re out of there.”
As we walk through the doors