Read Night of the Zombie Chickens for Free Online

demented lion. Lydia and Alyssa shriek with laughter. The director laughs, too.
    DIRECTOR
    Ha-ha! Cut! Maybe less roaring. I think zombies moan more than roar.
    LYDIA
    Got it. More moaning.

    Lydia climbs into the pickup, swinging her hips and SNAPPING her fingers. Alyssa and the director laugh on cue.

    Lydia jumps out of the car. She waves her arms and YOWLS like a rabid cat in heat. She and Alyssa collapse in the road, laughing. The director laughs, too, but not as much.
    DIRECTOR
    That’s great. Once more, no laughing this time. Alyssa, you have to look afraid.

    Alyssa starts to yowl, too. She and Lydia yowl a duet, waving their arms in the air.
    LYDIA
    How’s that, Mrs. Director?
    DIRECTOR
    Uh, perfect. Let’s shoot it again.
    LYDIA
    We should run through the corn now!
    ALYSSA
    Yeah!
    DIRECTOR
    We’ll do that as soon as we—
    LYDIA
    Here, shoot this!

    Lydia barrels into the corn, SHOUTING and waving her arms. Alyssa runs after her.
    ALYSSA
    I’m a zombie, I’m a zombie! I always wanted to be a zombie!
    DIRECTOR
    Uh, guys?

    Loud SHUSHING noises, then SILENCE. The corn CREAKS in the breeze. A stifled GIGGLE. Loud SIGH from the director.
    DIRECTOR
    Okay, I guess we can shoot in the corn. We’ll just get this other shot later.

    The corn scenes don’t go much better. Lydia reminds me of the chickens. She doesn’t understand about camera angles or hitting her mark (which means stopping where I tell her to so she doesn’t end up off camera). She doesn’t seem to really get what Action and Cut mean, either. I explain things for the third time.
    Lydia earnestly nods. “I keep forgetting to stop! I just love running through the corn and screaming. Don’t worry, Mrs. Director. This time I’m going to get it right.”
    She salutes me. Alyssa snickers.
    â€œYou’re not supposed to laugh when you’re running, Alyssa!” I bark, sharper than I mean to. But she’s starting to bug me. This is Lydia’s first time, but Alyssa knows better.
    â€œI’m sick of being Mallory,” she whines. “I want to be a zombie. They have more fun.”
    â€œZombies have all the fun,” Lydia agrees. “I think it would be cool to be a zombie and go around biting people’s heads off.”
    Lydia grabs an ear of corn and rips it apart like a crazy woman. She tries to bite it, but the corn is hard, so she spits it out and says, “Bleah.”
    It’s funny, but I’m not in the mood to laugh. Alyssa grabs an ear of corn and copies Lydia exactly, and this I find hugely annoying.
    â€œZombies don’t bite people’s heads off,” I mutter, but they’re already running away, screaming and ripping up corn. I can hear cornstalks crunching and trails of breathless laughter. A part of me wants to grab an ear of corn, run after them, and forget about the movie. But I’m the director. They’re supposed to be doing what I tell them to do. And the shots of the pickup looked great, so I don’t want the day to be a bust.
    I trail after them with my camera. The corn is so tall and thick I can only see a couple of feet in front of me.
    â€œI’m lost!” Lydia screams off to my left somewhere. “Alyssa, where are you?”
    â€œI’m here!” Alyssa yells, somewhere off to my right.
    â€œI’m here,” I call, trying to get into the spirit of things.
    â€œMarco!” Lydia bawls at the top of her lungs.
    â€œPolo!” Alyssa shrieks back.
    â€œMarco!”
    â€œPolo!”
    I call Polo, too, but it’s clear they’re only trying to find each other. I’ve become the third wheel, the pain-in-the-butt director they have to run away from. Resentment simmers inside me. I didn’t expect much from Lydia, but Alyssa’s behavior feels like treachery. They finally find each other, and I manage to find them.
    â€œThat was so scary,” Lydia says, although she’s clearly