Read Near to the Wild Heart for Free Online Page B

another that came... that came...
     

... The Bath...
    The moment her aunt went to pay for her purchases, Joana removed the book and slipped it furtively between the others she was carrying under her arm. Her aunt turned pale.
    Once in the street, the woman chose her words carefully:
    — Joana.. .Joana, I saw you...
    Joana gave her a quick glance. She remained silent.
    — But you have nothing to say for yourself? — her aunt could no longer restrain herself, her voice tearful. — Dear God, what is to become of you?
    — There's no need to fuss, Auntie.
    — But you're still a child... Do you realize what you've done?
    — I know...
    — Do you know... do you know what it's called... ?
    — I stole a book, isn't that what you're trying to say?
    God help me! I don't know what I'm going to do, you even have the nerve to own up!
    — You forced me to own up.
    — Do you think that you can... that you can just go around stealing?
    — Well... perhaps not.
    — Why do you do it then... ?
    — Because I want to.
    — You what? — her aunt exploded.
    — That's right, I stole because I wanted to. I only steal when I feel like it. I'm not doing any harm.
    — God help me! So, stealing does no harm, Joana.
    — Only if you steal and are frightened. It doesn't make me feel either happy or sad.
    The woman looked at her in despair.
    — Look child, you're growing up, it won't be long before you're a young lady... Very soon now you will be wearing your clothes longer... I beg of you: promise me that you won't do it again, promise me, think of your poor father who is no longer with us.
    Joana looked at her inquisitively:
    — But I'm telling you I can do what I like, that... — Her explanations were futile — All right, I promise. For my father's sake.
    Some time later, passing the door of her aunt's room, Joana could hear her, her voice low and interrupted by her breathing. Joana put her ear to the door, at the spot where you could even see the mark of her head.
    — She's like a little demon.. .,A woman of my age and experience, with a grown-up daughter of my own who is already married, yet I simply cannot cope with Joana... I never had any of this trouble with our Armanda, may God preserve her for the sake of her dear husband. I can no longer be responsible for the girl, I swear to you, Alberto... I can do whatever I like, she had the nerve to say to me after I caught her stealing... can you believe it... I was left speechless. I told Father Felicio, begged him to advise me... It upset him too... I've had enough! Even here in the house, she never says a word, as if she didn't need anyone... And when she looks at you, it's always straight in the eye, as if she were showing contempt...
    — True, her uncle said slowly, the strict discipline at boarding school might help to tame her. Father Felicio is right. I'm convinced that if my brother were still alive he wouldn't hesitate in packing Joana off to boarding school, after catching her stealing... Especially stealing, which is particularly sinful in the eyes of God... Deep down this is what troubles me: her father, irresponsible as he was, wouldn't even have hesitated in sending Joana to a reformatory... I feel sorry for Joana, poor child. You must agree that we would never have considered sending Armanda away to boarding school, even if she had robbed the entire bookshop.
    — That's altogether different! Altogether different — her aunt expostulated in triumph. Armanda, even were she to steal, is one of us! And what about this girl... There's no need to feel sorry for her, Alberto! It's me you should pity.. .Even when Joana isn't in the house, I'm uneasy. It may sound foolish, but I feel as if she were watching me all the time... and reading my thoughts... Sometimes I'm laughing at something when I suddenly break off as if I were paralysed. One of these days, here in my own home where I brought up my own daughter, I shall have to beg the forgiveness, God knows why, of this