Read My Story: Lady Jane Grey (My Royal Story) for Free Online

She smiled. “Maybe you will marry the King’s Grace one day. It would be a good match, both of you so clever.”
    “I do not want to marry anyone,” I said.
    “But if you marry the King, I could be one of your ladies,” said Elizabeth.
    I put on a lordly tone. “It is my command, Mistress Tilney.” Elizabeth laughed. But I was not joking. I meant what I said. I will make Elizabeth one of my ladies if I marry the King. I would want to be surrounded by as many friends as I could.

Late
    I do not know how long I have been sitting here, but it is quiet again now so I have taken my hands away from my ears. My knees feel sore from kneeling on the hard floor. I have said prayer after prayer but it has not made me feel any better. I went to the chapel earlier. The Admiral was there. His head was bowed and his shoulders were shaking. I have never seen a grown man cry before and it frightened me.
    Nurse brought me to my chamber. She found me curled up asleep with Rig still on my lap in the passage near the Queen’s apartments. Everyone else had forgotten me. I wanted to bring Rig back with me, but he would not leave the Queen’s doorway. I had found him outside her chamber, scratching at the door and whining to be let in, and pulled him on to my lap to cuddle him. The Queen’s cries upset us both. Women rushed in and out of her apartments bearing towels and bowls of hot water. They would not tell me how she did, or even meet my eye. The Admiral marched up and down, eyes anguished, begging the women to give him some task.
    Even here in my bedchamber I can hear the Queen’s cries. I cannot bear to listen to them. I cannot bear to hear her suffer. I had not realized childbirth could be so terrible. I pray that I never have a baby. Now I will stop writing so I can put my hands over my ears again. Please, God, keep the Queen safe. I will be good and dutiful and never say or think a bad thing again, if you do.

31 August 1548
Sudeley Castle
    The Queen has had a baby girl! The chaplain has been to baptize her. She has been named Mary.
    They came to tell me the joyful news but I knew already! I had raced round to the Queen’s apartments as soon as the terrible screams had stopped. The door was agape and I peered in fearfully – I was afraid what I would see; I was afraid that she was dead – but instead to my joy I saw the midwife lift up a tiny baby, slap it with a trembling hand and declare: “Madam, you have a beautiful baby girl!” before laying it gently in the Queen’s arms. The Queen opened her eyes and smiled before closing them again. By her side the Admiral was on his knees, her hand clasped in both of his. I ran back to my chamber, and burst into tears of joy before falling to my knees again to give thanks for the Queen’s safe delivery.
    The Admiral is bursting with pride. He tells everyone that he has the prettiest baby girl that ever was with eyes as blue as the sky on a summer’s day. The Queen’s ladies laugh at him. “All newborn babies have blue eyes,” said her sister smiling at a man’s ignorance of such matters. The sky is grey today, but to me it feels as if the sun has burst out over Sudeley. The Admiral has gone now to write letters announcing the joyful news. I should be at my lessons, but I cannot think about them now. I think how soft little Mary felt as I held her. And how the Queen smiled as I laid the baby back in her arms. She looked weary, but so content. The baby has been swaddled to help her limbs grow straight and strong, and laid in the cradle near the Queen. They were both fast asleep when I left. A wet-nurse has been summoned from the village to feed baby Mary when she wakes. The Queen must lie abed for some weeks to come, the midwife says. She says peasant women leap from their bed almost as soon as their child is born. But they are of sturdier stock and do not suffer the same pains of childbirth as do noblewomen.

1 September 1548
Sudeley Castle
    I am embroidering a little cap for