Read My Man Jeeves for Free Online Page B

is nobody like Jeeves. He walked straight into the sitting–room, the biggest feat since Daniel and the lions' den, without a quiver. What's more, his magnetism or whatever they call it was such that the dashed animal, instead of pinning him by the leg, calmed down as if he had had a bromide, and rolled over on his back with all his paws in the air. If Jeeves had been his rich uncle he couldn't have been more chummy. Yet directly he caught sight of me again, he got all worked up and seemed to have only one idea in life—to start chewing me where he had left off.
    "Rollo is not used to you yet, sir," said Jeeves, regarding the bally quadruped in an admiring sort of way. "He is an excellent watchdog."
    "I don't want a watchdog to keep me out of my rooms."
    "No, sir."
    "Well, what am I to do?"
    "No doubt in time the animal will learn to discriminate, sir. He will learn to distinguish your peculiar scent."
    "What do you mean—my peculiar scent? Correct the impression that I intend to hang about in the hall while life slips by, in the hope that one of these days that dashed animal will decide that I smell all right." I thought for a bit. "Jeeves!"
    "Sir?"
    "I'm going away—to–morrow morning by the first train. I shall go and stop with Mr. Todd in the country."
    "Do you wish me to accompany you, sir?"
    "No."
    "Very good, sir."
    "I don't know when I shall be back. Forward my letters."
    "Yes, sir."
    * * * * *
    As a matter of fact, I was back within the week. Rocky Todd, the pal I went to stay with, is a rummy sort of a chap who lives all alone in the wilds of Long Island, and likes it; but a little of that sort of thing goes a long way with me. Dear old Rocky is one of the best, but after a few days in his cottage in the woods, miles away from anywhere, New York, even with Motty on the premises, began to look pretty good to me. The days down on Long Island have forty–eight hours in them; you can't get to sleep at night because of the bellowing of the crickets; and you have to walk two miles for a drink and six for an evening paper. I thanked Rocky for his kind hospitality, and caught the only train they have down in those parts. It landed me in New York about dinner–time. I went straight to the old flat. Jeeves came out of his lair. I looked round cautiously for Rollo.
    "Where's that dog, Jeeves? Have you got him tied up?"
    "The animal is no longer here, sir. His lordship gave him to the porter, who sold him. His lordship took a prejudice against the animal on account of being bitten by him in the calf of the leg."
    I don't think I've ever been so bucked by a bit of news. I felt I had misjudged Rollo. Evidently, when you got to know him better, he had a lot of intelligence in him.
    "Ripping!" I said. "Is Lord Pershore in, Jeeves?"
    "No, sir."
    "Do you expect him back to dinner?"
    "No, sir."
    "Where is he?"
    "In prison, sir."
    Have you ever trodden on a rake and had the handle jump up and hit you? That's how I felt then.
    "In prison!"
    "Yes, sir."
    "You don't mean—in prison?"
    "Yes, sir."
    I lowered myself into a chair.
    "Why?" I said.
    "He assaulted a constable, sir."
    "Lord Pershore assaulted a constable!"
    "Yes, sir."
    I digested this.
    "But, Jeeves, I say! This is frightful!"
    "Sir?"
    "What will Lady Malvern say when she finds out?"
    "I do not fancy that her ladyship will find out, sir."
    "But she'll come back and want to know where he is."
    "I rather fancy, sir, that his lordship's bit of time will have run out by then."
    "But supposing it hasn't?"
    "In that event, sir, it may be judicious to prevaricate a little."
    "How?"
    "If I might make the suggestion, sir, I should inform her ladyship that his lordship has left for a short visit to Boston."
    "Why Boston?"
    "Very interesting and respectable centre, sir."
    "Jeeves, I believe you've hit it."
    "I fancy so, sir."
    "Why, this is really the best thing that could have happened. If this hadn't turned up to prevent him, young Motty would have been in a sanatorium by the