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once over.
    “If you tell me what you’re looking for, then I can help you,” she offers. “Boyfriend?”
    “I’m not fuckin’ gay!” bursts out of my mouth. “It isn’t what, it’s where…,” I tell her.
    “Oh, you don’t want anyone to see it,” she says , grinning. “I can help you with that.” She points to her hipbone. “Most men who want a tat no one is going to see, unless they’re in a clinch, get it right here.”
    “What the hell is a clinch?” I ask.
    “You know? Shagging?” she says like I’m simple-minded.
    “Huh? You lost me.”
    “Sex! Intercourse! Shagging!” She laughs at me.
    First she thinks I’m gay , and then she makes fun of me for not being a Euro-dude who knows what a clinch is.
    “Oh,” I say, deadpan. Since, I haven’t been with anyone in the past year, nor have I wanted to, I doubt it’s going to be a problem.
    I point to the letter E on the page.
    “That one,” I say.
    “Let’s do this!” she exclaims and I follow her to a side room with a cot or some type of medical bed in the center. “Lay down right here.”
    I do it, and I look up into some intense lights. In this position, I feel vulnerable and kind of stupid. What the hell am I doing?
    I close my eyes and listen to the Brit chick rummage around the room for her tattoo shit. “Pull your pants down,” she orders and my eyes snap open at her request. Shit! I unsnap the button on my jeans and unzip them. Then I lift my ass in the air to lower my pants.
    “Underwear too,” she says, hovering over me with a shiny piece of paper w ith my tattoo on it. Double shit! I didn’t think this through. She reads my face and laughs. “Here.” She places a white small sheet over me. I lift my ass again and take down my drawers. She flips back a corner of the sheet where my tat is going and puts the stencil on the spot. The stencil is cool against my skin. A click and I hear a whirring begin. It almost sounds like being at the dentist. “This may hurt a little bit.” The needle goes in. I shut my eyes and let her do her job.
    In a half an hour, I have a swirled E on my hipbone. The flesh is red and raw, but the letter is cool. I wasn’t too sure how I would feel. I like it. Hurts like hell, but I like it.

Chapter 3
Erin
    Lather.
    Rinse
    R epeat.
    That’s how I feel. It’s a monotonous routine, keeping up appearances, and Saturday night comes all too quickly. After Clarissa suggesting I see a therapist the other day, I need to step up my game this evening.
    I stand in front of my closet that is jam packed with beautiful, high-end clothes. I’m stuck. I don’t know what to put on for the club tonight. It’s exhausting making decisions, especially when they’re not the decisions you’d like to be making. I push a couple of hangers aside when my computer pings with an email. I take a break from figuring out what to wear and shake the computer mouse to wake up the screen.
    [email protected]
    It’s from my mother. A perplexing knot forms between my brows and I sit down at the computer, intrigued. Why is she emailing me?
     
    FORWARD:
    Subject: Academic Opportunity, H.S. + Program
    NJU is offering precollege programs for talented high school students. Experience the excitement of college life, take college courses, receive high school credits and complete required general education courses.
    Offered courses:
    • English Composition
    • Physical Science
    • Math
    • Humanities
    This accelerated program is a pilot program and will only be offered to a limited number of students, freshman to senior, across the state.
    Appropriate good standing at your high school and exemplary GPA are required. If you are interested in this opportunity, please complete the required forms by July 10th for the Fall semester and submit to your district Superintendent.
    Sincerely,
    Jason Howard, President
    New Jersey University College Road
    Vicks, NJ
    Education is Excellence
    ATTACHMENT :
    Application _1.doc
     
    Hmmm. I guess this