don’t even know what it is! It just seemed like the only thing I could do once and be done with it. Not like signing up for a committee that’ll meet two mornings a week for the unforeseeable future or anything. And now, Julia, I can’t even do it
once
!”
“Do what?”
“
Run!
She’s calling it the Run for Rehab, of all things. What do you think that means?”
“I have no idea, unless she thinks we all need a week at a spa. But, LuAnne, what does a run have to do with beautifying the town?”
“Well, see,” LuAnne said, scooting to the edge of the sofa. “She’s mapped out our route, and we’re supposed to take note of places along the way that need to be torn down and rebuilt—rehabilitated, I guess. But, Julia, how am I going to do that when I may not be able to put one foot in front of the other?”
“I don’t know, LuAnne. I didn’t even know you were into running.”
“I’m
not
! The only good thing about it is that nobody else is, either. See, Connie wants us to be slow enough to take note of the buildings and houses that need to come down. So she’s making it an elder run.”
“
Elder
run! LuAnne, there’ll be bodies dropping all over town.”
“I know!” she wailed. “And mine will probably be the first to drop. And here I am,
stuck
with it. What should I do, Julia?”
“Nothing. I just wouldn’t do it. Why, LuAnne, you could fall and break something. People who enter these things practice for weeks before the actual run. What kind of shape are you in, anyway?”
“Julia,” LuAnne said, sighing, “I’ll tell you the truth, I get out of breath just bringing in groceries from the car.”
“Then call Connie and tell her you’re dropping out, or just don’t show up.”
“I can’t just not show up. She’ll be keeping count, I know she will.”
I briefly considered my longtime friend—short in stature, full-breasted, and nervously energetic as long as she could sit and talk about something rather than get up and do it.
“Listen, LuAnne, how far do you think you can run?”
That stopped her for a minute, then she said, “I don’t know. A block?”
“It’s hardly worth going to the trouble of putting on a running suit for a block.”
“That’s not the worst of it,” LuAnne said. “I don’t even have a running suit. I’ll have to buy one.”
“For a block? I wouldn’t waste my time or my money. Besides, I think runners wear those tight-fitting latex things. You know, the neon-colored things that reveal everything about you.”
“Oh, Lord!” LuAnne wailed. “I can’t wear something like that in public!” Then she sat up straight and pulled herself together. “That decides it. I’m going to be sick.”
I sat up straight, too. “Right
now
?”
“No, on the day of the run. Thanks, Julia, I appreciate your help. And I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who felt run over and hemmed in by Connie.
“However,” LuAnne mused after a moment of silence, “she is going to give out trophies, and it’d be nice to have one.”
“Listen to you! How do you expect to get a trophy for caving in after the first block?”
That stung, I could tell, for LuAnne drew herself up and said, “
Well,
Julia, for your information, it’s not just the winner who’ll get a trophy. Connie’s going to award
participation
trophies, so there’ll be no winners or losers, just all of us who
try.
Which apparently neither you nor Mildred is willing to do.”
“And I’m glad we aren’t,” I shot back. “What’s the use of expending—and embarrassing—yourself on something you can’t do in the first place and which wouldn’t mean anything anyway, even if you won? I say, give trophies just for entering!
“I tell you, LuAnne, the woman’s a menace. You shouldn’t give her or her dime-store trophies another thought.”
“Well,” LuAnne said, drawing herself up with a little huff, “here’s something you don’t know. Our running route starts on Main Street