Read Mine to Lose for Free Online

hear. I lift my gaze to meet his and he just gawks at me, as though he’s
never seen me before.
    “How ya feeling today?” he finally asks.
My hand goes straight to my head, signaling that I have a massive headache.
“You need to eat something. How ‘bout some cereal?”
    I have to fight the urge to vomit at the
mere thought of cereal. “I’m good,” I say in a rush, hoping he doesn’t suggest
anything else. “Thanks for the coffee.”
    The silence stretches between us and I
feel that so much is being said in the stillness. I’m always the first one to
cave when it comes to what Ryan wants. When it comes to the little things, like
what we eat, whether or not we go out, apartments to live in, or even where we
get married, I tend to let Ryan have the final say. I have done everything he’s
wanted, up to now. But I have to stand my ground this time, because this is a big deal, even if he doesn’t think so.
    “Look-”
    “We-” he starts to say at the same time
as me. “Go ‘head.”
    The tight smile I give in appreciation
makes me feel worlds away from this man who knows me all too well. “I was just
going to say I’m sorry about last night. I mean, if I said anything…” I can’t
seem to find the words to tell him anything.
    “I -” He seems frustrated, searching for
something to say. “Shit, Em, this isn’t us. We don’t fight like this, and we
don’t walk away.”
    “Funny,” a scoff escapes, “I thought the
same thing, yet there you went.”
    “You told me to leave,” he counters with
annoyance, reminding me of my part in that action.
    “And you went,” I finish as I stand up
from the barstool. Fortunately, since the apartment is small, I can reach over
and put my cup in the sink before walking away.
    “I wasn’t walking out on us; I was
walking out on a fight. A fight that clearly isn’t over, and it’s not like you
were being rational.”
    “So I’m the irrational one, is that
right?” My hands go to my hips and I fix my glare on him. “It’s irrational that
I want to be with my boyfriend, the guy I’m about to marry, and that I expect
him to put me first? It’s irrational that I get pissed when he does the
complete opposite? Do I have that right? Well, let me tell you something, Ryan ,
I think that you are being a complete jerk.”
    I barely get two steps into storming off
when he is suddenly at my side, grasping my wrist and pulling me to him. I push
at his chest, trying to get away, but his other hand finds my waist as he pulls
me close.
    “Em.” I’m trying to turn my face away
from him, but he places a gentle touch to my chin, urging me to look at him.
“We can’t keep this up.”
    I stop resisting and my arms fall limp at
my side. Ryan is the most rational person I know, and maybe that’s the
problem. Where did his passion for me go? I feel like I’m fighting for us, and
he’s fighting for his career. I can’t do the fighting for the both of us. This
realization cuts deep inside of me, and I feel my heart physically ache.
    “You're right,” I admit past the lump in
my throat. “We can’t.”
    “So what's our solution?”
    “I think we both need some space, Ryan.”
His body goes rigid at those words, and my face that is nuzzled into his chest
lends me the ability to hear his heartbeat. I hurry to elaborate. “I love you,
you know that. I just don’t want to fight anymore, it’s getting us nowhere.”
    “We have to talk it out.” He holds my hand
in his, pulling me to the couch. I try to resist, but he only squeezes tighter.
“I’m sorry about the way I told you. I really didn’t think-”
    “No, you didn’t think.” I turn a fierce
glare on him.
    He stares at me for a second before
raising his eyebrows in question, “Are you going to let me finish, or would you
rather have this argument alone?”
    Adequately put in my place, I shut my
mouth and let him finish. “I didn’t mean to dump it on you like that. I really
thought you’d be happy with