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losing them. Had already lost them—they just didn’t know it yet. Lauren was a walking ghost, already gone.
    Oh God.
    She coughed to loosen up her throat enough to be able to speak. “It’s nothing serious, don’t worry.” She coughed again. “I think I might be coming down with the flu, so it’s best for me to get home.”
Now.
    Suzanne looked troubled, but nodded. “Okay. But I hate to see you go.” She cocked her head, a sudden mischievous gleam in her eye. “Because there was this guy I wanted you to meet. He’s the new head of PR at the Isabel and—”
    “Another time,” Lauren choked. Meaning—never.
    That was another thing, Suzanne and Allegra’s endless attempts to pair her off with a suitable man, not realizing that she couldn’t be paired off. Ever. It would be like a death sentence for the man, whoever he was.
    Suzanne and Allegra and Claire were walking advertisements for wedded bliss. Though their guys looked rough and tough—and from what she could see they genuinely
were
rough and tough—they made their wives very happy.
    It hurt, just a little, to be around them when their husbands were around. They were such—such
couples
. Devoted to each other, counting on each other, helping each other. She’d never actually lived that in her life, had never even seen it before. Her father had been devoted to his collection of first editions and her mother had been devoted to his money until it ran out, and then she’d been devoted to Alfonso’s money. No one in Alfonso’s family had been devoted to anyone but themselves, including Jorge, of course. Being around Suzanne and Allegra and their friend Claire she’d discovered something, something about that whole man-woman thing, that she’d never seen before and that made her yearn, just a little.
    As long as Jorge was alive, she’d never have it. Couldn’t have it.
    Her knees were trembling. She had to get out of here. Fast.
    She stepped toward Suzanne and hugged her. Suzanne hugged her back. “Take care of yourself now,” Suzanne said.
    Lauren was shorter and was wearing flats, so she could bury her face against Suzanne’s shoulder, hiding the sudden rush of hot tears that pricked her eyes. For an instant she gave in to her emotions and clung to Suzanne. Soft, soft perfumed Suzanne. Loving friend, wife, mother. Who was a buzz saw when it came to business.
    Lauren clung too long. She could feel Suzanne’s bewilderment when the moment to pull away came and went. Lauren simply couldn’t let go, not for the life of her.
    Because, well, this was it. Her life was over.
    If anything this past disastrous half hour had taught her, it was that she had to stay far away from everyone. The nicer they were, the farther she had to run.
    What yawned before her was a friendless future of complete solitude. Keeping her head down, surviving. Relentlessly alone.
    This might be the last time she hugged a friend. Maybe in her entire lifetime.
    She squeezed more tightly. Suzanne understood that something was going on. Damn it, she was perceptive as hell.
    This had to stop. Lauren forced herself to open her arms, step back, before the temptation to just cling forever overwhelmed her.
    “Hey.” Allegra smiled, put a hand on Lauren’s shoulder. “I get one of those hugs, too, right?”
    Oh, yeah.
    This time Lauren was disciplined. The hug lasted the exact right space of time. When she stepped back, Allegra kept her hands on Lauren’s shoulders and frowned. “Is something wrong?”
    Lauren swallowed, nodded. “Headache.”
    “No.” Allegra shook her head. “Besides that.”
    Damn. She was so freaking perceptive, too. All that harp playing. Messed with her, allowed her to tune into more frequencies than most people.
    “No, no.” Lauren shook her head, gave a shaky smile that they would put down to a massive headache. “I just need to lie down in the dark for a while.”
    Suzanne looked at Jacko, beautiful face serious. “You’ll walk Lauren to her