me my specs again, will you?” They were two inches away. She could have easily reached them herself, but May dutifully walked over to the side table. The teeth in the glass glared at her as she brought her mother her spectacles. “And my gargling cup.” May sighed, handed her mother these articles, and left. She had to get out of this room.
It wasn’t the solitude of their lives that bothered May, nor was it simply the stifling atmosphere of thelighthouse, but rather the silence that had grown up over the years. There was an insidious quality to it. Ironically, this silence spoke loudly and clearly to the bitterness, the resentment that had ripened and then rotted, eating away at both her parents.
The three of them lived on this windy rockbound island, and yet it was as if they needed to open every window and let scouring gusts blow through. But May knew that it wasn’t wind that would vanquish the quiet but words. She was tired of the tyranny of this silence. In the past year she had sensed something changing in her. She felt a deepening intolerance for the way things had always been. May was known as an even-tempered girl. But she had been feeling slightly uneven recently, and the mysterious surge of the sea rising within her seemed to drive her more toward an edge she wanted to cross. This lighthouse was secure, safe, and boring. But May knew that she was on the brink of something rich, exciting, and yes, perhaps dangerous.
She went up the stairs with a bowl of oatmeal for her father. She had promised herself last night before finally falling asleep that she would ask him why hewould never let her even go wading. She wasn’t going to demand an explanation as she had burned to do the previous evening, and she certainly was not going to tell him that she thought she might have saved at least one of those men. But a quiet determination had rooted in her.
“Pa,” she said as she entered the room. “How are you doing?”
“Quite a bit of pain in my hip. But I don’t think anything is broken. Just stiffened up on me. How are the men downstairs that Captain Haskell picked up?”
“They seem settled for now. Captain Haskell sailed over to Bar Harbor to fetch the doctor to look at them. And he’ll come up here and see about your hip and that cut.”
“Oh, that will make your mother happy—a house call from the new doctor.” He sighed, then laughed. “Don’t think, though, that enough doctors could ever come calling to please your mother.”
“ ’Spose you’re right, Pa,” May replied. She stifled the urge to ask him why he put up with her mother’s behavior. There were so many times when she wishedthat Gar would just out-and-out get mad at Zeeba. But he never did. He would pour himself a little bit of whiskey, make a funny little grimace as he swallowed, and carry on.
“Pa, I brought you some oatmeal and some clean bandages for your cut, and spirits to wash it with.”
“Well, I hate to tell you, de-ah, but seeing as it’s my right hand that got so cut up, I’m afraid you’re going to have to help me or I’ll make a mess of myself.”
“Don’t you worry, Pa. I can do that.”
“Serves me right, I suppose. You don’t think that ship went down because of …”
May felt her chest tighten, but she forced herself to speak. “Don’t say such a thing, Pa. It’s not true. They could see the light. It’s not our fault.”
“
My
fault is what you mean.”
“Quit it or I won’t feed you another drop of this oatmeal.” She smiled quickly at him. He chuckled. May sensed this was the time to ask her question. “Pa, how come you never let me get as much as a toe in the water?”
The color drained from Gar’s face. “Wh-what are you talking about?”
“You know what I mean.” May tried to say this in a half-teasing voice.
“After a night like this you want to know why I fear the sea for you?”
“Yes,” May said, and looked at him directly, but he tried to avoid her eyes. He was