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they’re no longer audible. I sigh in relief, all the tension fleeing my body.
    “Are you okay?’ Howard asks, rubbing my shoulder.
    I glance up, only then noticing how little space is between us. His blue eyes have flecks of grey in them, and there’s a smattering of freckles covering his nose and cheeks. His warm breath tickles my cheek almost like a caress, and his jaw has the barest hint of a five o’clock shadow. He really is captivating.
    “I’m fine,” I eventually say, the words a mere whisper.
    The butterflies in my stomach return with a vengeance. Howard licks his lips as they turn up ever so slightly in a smile.
    “Good.”
    I can’t stop the sigh that slips past my own lips. Howard leans forward a little, then moves closer still until his mouth is pressed against mine. I don’t dare move. A zing of something, I’m not sure whether it’s pleasure or fear, shoots through me. His lips are soft and wet, and the sensation is unlike anything I’ve felt before. I can’t even decide if I want him to continue or stop. When he pulls away, though, a feeling of disappointment bubbles up inside me.
    My first kiss.
    Goose bumps cover me from head to toe, and unbidden, my fingers move to my lips. Glancing at Howard, he stares at me for a minute, then moves to sit further away.
    “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
    I shrug. “It’s okay.”
    Howard frowns and then looks across the room.
    Part of Matron training is learning not to form close relationships. It doesn’t mean it never happens. I’ve heard the odd story here and there from the other women, and I realise that’s probably what Gail was trying to tell me at breakfast the other day. But in all honesty, I can’t remember the last time I had real physical contact with anyone, above all with a man.
    We sit in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Tension rolls off Howard in waves.
    “What’s wrong?”
    “Nothing. Come on,” Howard whispers. “We need to get to the house before those guys return.”
    He grabs my hand and leads me towards the door. I pull my hand out of his, taking a step back.
    “Wait. You are planning on letting me go eventually, right?”
    His eyes widen, and he looks ashamed and apologetic all at once. “Yeah, we are.”
    I nod and take a deep breath. “Okay, then.”
    He hesitates a moment and then turns to the door.
    “Wait here a sec.” He unlocks the bolt and sticks his head out, looking in both directions. “All clear.”
    He gestures for me to join him, then grabs my hand again and leads me out into the alley.

 
     
     
    Chapter 3
     
    “We’re home,” Howard calls out as we walk through the door.
    His mum sticks her head around the corner. “Good, good. Nothing bad happened?”
    “Nope. We had to hide out for a bit to avoid a couple of no good so-and-sos but they gave up pretty quick.”
    Rhonda looks us up and down. When she stops midway, I remember I’m still holding Howard’s hand and yank mine free.
    “As long as you’re okay,” she says, “that’s the main thing. Come, I have a couple of plates of food for you.”
    We take seats on opposite sides of the table, and Rhonda slides some delicious looking chicken and vegetables in front of us. My stomach growls . . . loudly.
    “Sorry. It smells so good.”
    “Don’t be sorry. I take it as a compliment. You guys eat up. I’m going to go check to see that the rest of my munchkins are getting ready for bed like they’re supposed to be doing.”
    Rhonda’s gone before I even have a chance to say thank you. I look at Howard, who is staring intently at the plate of food in front of him.
    “Thank you.”
    Howard looks up, a perplexed expression on his face. “What for?”
    “For once again saving me from something awful.”
    “You’re welcome.” He smiles and nods, but it seems halfhearted—almost like he’s mad and trying not to show it.
    We eat in silence, and though I am used to eating this way at MITI, it usually leaves me