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our tax goes to pay benefits? I work hard to get my salary and it just goes to pay welfare for people who don’t work.”
Charles:   “But I don’t mind my money going to people like Mary. She deserves it.”
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    This argument highlights a common problem when people argue. There are some people who focus on the big picture. They find statistics and studies very convincing. Others prefer looking at issues in relation to an individual case.
    In the argument between Alison and Charles, Charles is the kind of person who finds it easier to consider issues by focusing on individual cases. So, if Alison wants to persuade him of her point of view she should give him examples of cases of people who are “lazy scroungers.” Similarly, if Charles wants to persuade Alison of his point of view he needs to find studies or the views of experts to support it. She seems to be the kind of person who is not convinced by the stories of individuals.
    In fact, most people probably find a mixture of personal stories and statistics convincing. So, especially if you’re talking to a group of people or to a person you don’t know very well, try to give arguments based on the broad picture as well as on an individual scenario—as in this example:
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Getting it right
“We need to reorganize the layout of the office. You’ll see from the plans I have given you that this will create an extra 250 square feet of space that can be used for office space and create two new desk stations. The cost per added square foot comes in at only $60. Consider, for example, Steven. He’s currently squeezed into a tiny space and has to waste a lot of time walking to the other side of the office to get to his filing cabinet. Under my proposal he will be much more comfortable and not be wasting time.”
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    Here, the arguer has focused on the general figures and statistics, but has also given an individual example of the benefit of the proposal.
    What are the other person’s prejudices or assumptions?
    We all come to arguments with prejudices and assumptions. Listen carefully to what the person is saying. What assumptions are they making? What kind of arguments do they seem to find convincing?
    Remember that the person you’re listening to may have core beliefs that you’re not going to shake in the course of a short argument. You will not persuade a patriotic American that his country’s foreign policy in the past two decades has been profoundly wrong. And a religious person may be more likely to be sympathetic to a religious-based argument than to one based on the assumption that there is no God.
    There are less obvious points to bear in mind, too. We all have views about ourselves. We have a particular image of ourselves and can get most disturbed when it’s apparent that others do not see us as we see ourselves. In an argument it can be a good idea to appeal to values that a person holds dear.
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Bob:    “Sanjev, everyone knows that you’re a person who keeps his word. Just the other day Barbara was saying that ‘with Sanjev his word is his bond.’ So you cannot go back on the promise you made last week.”
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    In this argument Bob is appealing to Sanjev’s sense of identity as a person who is trustworthy. Most people care deeply about their reputations and how they are thought of by others. Appealing to a person’s core values and seeking to connect your arguments with those will be persuasive.
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Useful example
“If you do this people will think you’re dishonest and manipulative. Do you want to be seen as that kind of person?”
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    Who does the person respect?
    Finding out who the person you are arguing with respects or trusts is important. Imagine you know the person you’re arguing with is a passionate supporter of Barack Obama. It will be a powerful tool if you can point out that their view goes againstBarack Obama’s. At the very least, you should be able to say to them: “Look if Barack Obama disagrees with you,