relationship advice from my divorced-four-times father isnât wise.
âYou should do the pink hair too,â I say. I donât know why thatcomes out, except Iâm so hyperaware of my new look that Iâm having trouble thinking of anything else to talk about.
I want him to know I can talk about other things: favorite street performers in Washington Square Park, least favorite books from school this year, whether beer tastes like urine or like wheat, what kind of music the band on his T-shirt plays and if he prefers to listen to them on his headphones when heâs walking around the Village or if heâd rather blast them on speakers at home. But all I can talk about is the shade of pink now adorning my head.
âYou think I could pull it off?â Bernardo says. He reaches for my hair, picks a clump up, and puts it against his face like weâre going to really check and see how heâd look with pink hair. Almost pink.
âAre you too scared?â I say. Roxanne giggles. She and Arizona are staying quiet but focused. Bernardoâs friends watch us from their bench. Someone near the fountain is playing terrible accordion. Bernardo gives me a long look.
âIâm scared, but also awesome,â he says. I can feel Arizona rolling her eyes next to me. It doesnât matter that I canât see her. Sheâs my sister; I know what sentences sheâll love and which ones sheâll hate. I know her opinions before she tells them to me. That hasnât changed.
Sheâs gone from finding him sweet to finding him lame. I can feel it. She has her Stepmothers Look on her face. Judge-y and sure. Iâd bet money on it.
âI donât know what scared but awesome means,â I say.
âIt means letâs do it. Letâs dye my hair pink.â He winks but doesnât smile. The accordion player is attempting a version of âHappyBirthdayâ to no one and Arizona is shaking her head no, no, no . I think he might be serious.
âRight now?â I say.
âOh my God yes right now yes!â Roxanne says, a flurry of words and breathiness. She rushes forward like a puppy let off leash at last.
âYou donât have to do this. I was pretty much joking.â Iâm shy around him, even though the guy has been watching me all spring and is now willing to dye his hair for me. I donât know him; heâs still a stranger and a cute boy, and now that heâs seen fun Roxanne and Arizonaâs new body, I donât know why he likes me.
âIt seems like you might be worth it,â he says.
I laugh. More or less. Itâs mostly a snorting cough of embarrassment and surprise, but Iâm smiling, so it vaguely resembles a laugh. He has an accent I canât quite place except that I assume it means heâs lived in New York his whole life and probably has a parent or two who speaks Spanish.
Bernardo sort of salutes his friends across the path and shakes hands with Arizona and Roxanne. They introduce themselves, and he raises his eyebrows at Arizonaâs name.
âArizona and Montana,â he says. âThis a joke?â
âSisters,â I say. I touch Arizonaâs elbow on the word and want to exchange a smile with her, give one of those we-love-being-sisters looks, but sheâs not having it. She is too busy wrinkling her nose and adjusting the straps of her tank top and probably planning her escape route.
âOur mom was a hippie. So our dad was briefly a hippie too. Heâslike that,â Arizona says. For someone who doesnât want to talk, sheâs saying way too much.
âAnd now?â Bernardo says, which is sort of the million-dollar question, to be honest.
âOur dad sort of dates a lot. And sort of changes a lot when he dates. But heâs a good guy,â I say. Thereâs a break in conversation where Iâm supposed to say whatâs up with my mom too, but I donât.
âWe