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the little group of recruits I have already named, which is much of why I named them. This position consisted of nothin’ more than playin’ sheepdog for the ‘Bugs,’ as everyone seemed to take great delight in callin’ ‘em, while they was bein’ herded from one trainin’ session to another. Still, it was a leadership position, which, as I have earlier noted, I tend to avoid like I would a subpoena.
    The stuff we had to learn as part of our basic-type trainin’ wasn’t really too bad, though. Most of the information they passed along was indeed necessary when considered as an overview, and it was presented simply, but with a real effort toward makin’ it interestin’ enough to hold the attention of us recruits. This was a pleasant change from my college profs, most of whom seemed to feel they was the greatest experts on the most interestin’ subjects and that the students should feel lucky to pay substantial hunks of money for the privilege of worshipin’ at their feet. What’s more, they tested the loyalty of said students on a regular basis by the simple process of makin’ the presentation dull enough to bore a stone and seein’ who managed to stay awake long enough to absorb sufficient data to pass their finals.
    The army, in direct contrast, started with the basic assumption that recruits would be totally ignorant and couldn’t care less about the subject at hand, unless it was made interestin’ enough to hold their predictably short attention, often by graphically demonstratin’ at a personal level how vital said subject was to the continued functioning of their bodies.
    (Out of courtesy to those of youse who are currently investin’ large hunks of your or your kid’s time in college, I will refrain on commentin’ on which system I think is better for passin’ information, much less the actual life value of that information which is bein’ passed, and confine myself to the simple observation that instruction in the army is neither mindless nor lackin’ in value. What’s more, they pay you while you’re learnin’. Of course, things might be quite a bit different if corporations other than fast food franchisers took it upon themselves to take an active hand in the trainin’ of their employees... but that is a whole ‘nother subject and a definite digression from the subject at hand, which is army trainin’.)
    For the most part, Nunzio and I had no complaints with the lessons, and even found them uniquely informational. As youse are probably aware, the Mob is big on individual tactics or free-for-all-type brawls such as is usually the case in ambushes, so learnin’ to fight from formations was a genuinely new experience for us. Of course, we had some difficulty acceptin’ that this would ever be of actual use to us.
    Firstus, as I have just so previously mentioned, bodyguardin’ usually involves ambushes and what is known in sports as “scramble defense,” raisin’ serious doubts in our mind that formation fightin’ would be utilizable in our civilian life after the service, seein’ as how we would lack the warm-type bodies for such maneuvers, and it is doubtful those throwin’ the surprise party would give us sufficient time to gather the necessary quantities of warm bodies, as the entire purpose of their ambush is to catch us with our tactical pants around our ankles.
    Secondous, and more to the point, however, it was unclear how we was supposed to use these tactics while in the army. You see, at this point it was no secret that the army of Possiltum was the largest, best-equipped force around, so few kingdoms or towns chose to buck the long odds by confrontin’ them in the field where formation-type tactics would come into play. Consequentially, there was little actual fightin’ goin’ on when they moved into a new neighborhood, an’ any opposition offered was more on the order of covertous resistance of the stab-em-in-the-back or