Read MA08 Myth-Nomers and Im-Pervections for Free Online

you?”
    “Sorry,” he said, tossing the booklet in the same general direction the box had gone. “I’m takin’ a few courses to try to learn some other languages, but Klahdish isn’t one of them. Not enough demand, ya know?”
    Despite my continuing concern over his attention to his driving, the cabbie was beginning to interest me.
    “I must say you’re enterprising enough. Cab driver, publisher, cook, translator ... is there anything else you do?”
    “Oh, I’m into a lot of things. Photography, tour guide ... I even draw a little. Some of these drawings I did. I’d be willing to part with them for the right price.”
    He gestured at some of the sheets adorning the interior, and the cab veered dangerously to the right.
    “Ah ... actually, I was interested in something else you said just now.”
    “Yeah? What’s that?”
    “Tour guide.”
    “Oh, that. Sure. I love to when I get the chance. It’s sweet money. Beats the heck out of fighting the other hacks for fares all day long.”
    I glanced at Kalvin and raised a questioning eyebrow.
    “Go ahead,” he said. “We could use a guide, and you seem to be getting along with this guy pretty well. You know what they say, ‘Better the Deveel you know.’”
    Obviously the Djin’s knowledge did not extend to Deveels, but this wasn’t the time or place to instruct him. I turned my attention back to the driver.
    “I was thinking of hiring you more as a guide than a tour guide. How much do you make a day with this cab?”
    “Well, on a good day I can turn better than a hundred.”
    “Uh-huh,” I said. “How about on an average day?”
    That earned me another over-the-shoulder glance.
    “I gotta say, fella, you sure don’t talk like a Klahd.”
    “I live at the Bazaar at Deva,” I smiled. “It does wonders for your bargaining skills. How much?”
    We haggled back and forth for a few minutes, but eventually settled on a figure. It seemed fair, and I wasn’t exactly in a position to be choosy. If the device the cabbie had used was widespread in his profession, my disguise would be blown the second I stepped into a cab, and there was no guarantee the next driver would be as well disposed toward off-dimensioners as our current junior entrepreneur.
    “Okay, you’ve got yourself a guide,” the driver said at last. “Now, who am I working for?”
    “I’m Skeeve, and the Djin with me is Kalvin.”
    “Don’t know about the Djin,” the cabbie shrugged. “Either he don’t talk much or I can’t hear him. Pleased to meetcha, though, Mr. Skeeve. I’m Edvik.”
    He extended a hand into the back seat, which I shook cautiously. I had encountered Pervish handshakes before and could still feel them in my joints in wet weather.
    “So, where do you want to go first?”
    That seemed like a strange question to me, but I answered it anyway.
    “To a hotel, same as before.”
    “Uh-uh.”
    “Excuse me?” I said, puzzled.
    “Hey, you hired a guide, you’re going to get one. You’re about to check into a hotel, right?”
    “That’s right.”
    “Well, you try to check into a Pervish hotel the way you are, without luggage, and they’re going to give you a rough time whether they figure you’re from off-dimension or not. They’ll be afraid that you’re trying to get access to a room to steal the furniture or maybe to try to break into other rooms on the same floor.”
    That was a new concept to me. While I had a fairly extensive wardrobe at home, I usually traveled light when I was working ... like with the clothes I was wearing and money. It had never occurred to me that a lack of luggage would cause people to be suspicious of my intentions.
    “What do you think, Kalvin?”
    “Beats me,” the Djin shrugged. “I’ve never run into the problem. Of course, I travel in a bottle and people can’t see me anyway.”
    “Well, what do you recommend, Edvik?”
    “Let me take you by a department store. You can pick up a small bag there and maybe some stuff to