Read MA08 Myth-Nomers and Im-Pervections for Free Online Page B

proprietor swoop down on me, assuming he had given me any room to start with. Here, they didn’t seem to notice. Slightly puzzled, I waited a few moments, then cleared my throat noisily. It didn’t even earn me a glance.
    “Are you coming down with something, Skeeve?” Kalvin said anxiously. “Anything contagious, I mean?”
    “No, I’m just trying to signal for one of the salesmen.”
    “Oh.”
    The Djin floated a few feet higher to peer toward the cash register.
    “It doesn’t seem to be working.”
    “I can see that, Kalvin. The question is, what will?”
    We waited a few more moments and watched the salesmen in their discussion.
    “Maybe you should go over there,” the Djin suggested at last. It seemed strange to pursue a salesman to get him to take my money, but lacking a better idea I wandered over to the sales counter ...
    ... And stood there.
    The salesmen finished their discussion of sports and started on dirty jokes.
    ... And stood there.
    Then the subject was the relative merits of the women they were dating. It might have been interesting, not to mention instructional, if I hadn’t been getting so annoyed.
    “Do you get the feeling I’m not the only one who’s invisible?” Kalvin muttered sarcastically.
    When a Djin who’s used to sitting in a bottle for years starts getting impatient, I figure I’m justified in taking action.
    “Excuse me,” I said firmly, breaking into the conversation. “I’d like to look at that bag over there? The small magik one in green canvas.”
    “Go ahead,” one of the salesmen shrugged and returned to his conversation.
    I stood there for a few more moments in sheer disbelief, then turned and marched back over to the bag.
    “Now you’re starting to move like a Pervect,” the Djin observed.
    “I don’t care,” I snarled. “And that’s Pervert! I’ve tried to be nice ... didn’t want to mess up their display ... but, if they insist ... ”
    For the next several minutes I took my anger out on the bag, which was probably the safest object to vent my spleen on. I hefted it, swung it over my head, slammed it against the floor a couple times, and did everything else to it I could think of short of climbing inside. I’ve got to admit the thing was sturdily made. Then again, I was starting to see why goods on Perv had to be tough. The salesmen never favored me with so much as a glance.
    “Check me on this, Kalvin,” I panted, my exertions finally starting to wear on my endurance. “The price tag on this bag does say 125 gold, doesn’t it?”
    I may not be able to read many written languages, but numbers and prices have never given me any trouble. I guess it comes from hanging around with Aahz as long as I have ... not to mention Tananda and Bunny.
    “That’s the way I read it.”
    “I mean, that’s not exactly cheap. I’ve seen clerks treat 10-copper items with more concern and respect than these guys are showing. Don’t they care?”
    “Not so’s you’d notice,” the Djin agreed.
    “Do you think they’d notice if I tried to just tuck it under my arm and walk out without paying? It would be nice to know something can get to these guys.”
    The Djin glanced around nervously.
    “I really don’t know, but I don’t think you should try.”
    That cooled me down a bit. I was still in strange territory on a mission, and it was no time to start testing security systems.
    “Okay,” I growled. “Let’s try this again.”
    This time, when I approached the sales counter, I figured I had learned my lesson. No more Mr. Nice Guy. No more waiting around for them to end their discussion.
    “I’d like to buy that green magik bag, the small canvas one,” I said, bursting into their conversation in mid-sentence.
    “All right.”
    The salesman I had first spoken with was halfway to the display before I realized what he was doing. Now that I had his attention, my normal shopping instincts cut in.
    “Excuse me. I’d like a new case rather than the floor