Read Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3) for Free Online

how girlfriends should behave with each other. Holding each other up, not bringing one another down. I narrow my eyes at her, then look back into the mirror once again.
    “I’m getting it.” I smile and turn around, going to pay.
     

     
    Walking into my martial arts club tonight I feel like I have a lot of frustration to release. I started at this club about two years ago. It’s self-defence, but it’s also a confidence builder and I love the instructor as he has always made me feel welcome like I belong. We start with our usual warm up, then practice some defensive moves, after which we all split and start working on our individual goals. I’ve been learning boxing, so I line up with the punching bag and go a few rounds. Once the sweat is stinging my eyes, I stop and close them. Centring myself and bringing my heart rate back down.
     
    “You were always it for me. There was…is, never going to be anyone else.”
     
    My eyelids spring open. I have no idea where that thought came from. The conversations with Dane, while I was visiting England keep popping into my head lately, usually at inappropriate times. Like when I’m with Davy, and even though I’ve probably only spent a total of two hours with Dane, he’s made me question everything. We didn’t have many chats, but he always made me feel like they held weight. He didn’t explain his feelings in depth. He knew I had a boyfriend, and respected that. Sometimes I wish he hadn’t. Dane told me enough though to convince me, without a shadow of a doubt, that what we had, what we were, must have been something special. But I can’t remember anything, and I’m so scared of what he could tell me. He knew me…before I knew myself.
    What if I was different back then? What if I was horrible?
    Or worse.
    What if I was better.

 
    I’m flying out to New York tomorrow to sort out some business, I also need to attend to personal shit. I’m not sure if Nova is ready for me, but at this point I have nothing to lose. Sitting in my car I stare at my hands resting in my lap. The things these hands have done. The things I’ve done, allowing the darkness to swallow me. My family have been my reprieve, but only Nova can save me. I need her to walk beside me. To live life with me. Before I’m consumed and then there will be no turning back. Sighing I realise I’ve been sitting outside Saul’s for the last ten minutes. Hopefully, nobody has noticed or I’ll face twenty questions. I need to explain that I’m going over to the US early, but that won’t mean I’ll miss their wedding.
    “You all right, bro?” Saul asks answering the door.
    Shaking my head I reply, “Yes Saul, I’m fine, just like I was when you asked an hour ago on the phone.”
    He shrugs, unembarrassed that he’s fussing over me.
    Fuck. I love that he’s my brother.
    “So what was the impromptu visit all about?” Soph asks while enveloping me in a hug. I take in her vanilla scent and it gives me a moment of temporary peace. Then she lets go and the darkness sits, surrounding me again.
    “Just wanted a little catch-up,” I reply easing down onto their sofa. Crossing my leg, resting the ankle of one leg on the knee of the other. I slide my arm along the sofa and look across at my brother and soon to be sister in law, sitting on the couch opposite. I want that, their bliss. I want that to be Nova and me.
    “A catch up about what? Have you spoken to Libby?” Soph asks excitement glittering in her eyes.
    The mention of Libby causes a stab of emotion. I still think of her as Elizabeth, the fact that she has chosen to leave Elizabeth behind is a stark reminder that she’s not the same person. My Elizabeth may be gone forever. I have to face that fact. This is why I need to go out there. If Elizabeth is actually gone forever, then she’s taken Dane with her—at least the young kid I once was. I’ve never been someone who gives up without a fight. But I won’t just fight for her, I’ll battle,