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“I treated all the girls I dated like they were disposable.  I was…on a conquest, I guess.  It sounds horrible now when I say it, but at the time my only priority was myself.  I didn’t care if I hurt them.  I had no qualms about dumping them as soon as I got what I wanted…I was a jerk.”
    “I don’t beli eve you,” I replied immediately.
    “Why’s that?”
    “You don’t seem like the type to do that.”
    “Yeah well I’m not now.   But back then…”
    “You’re probably just one of those guys who exaggerate about sex,” I insisted. 
    I said it like I was some sort of authority on the subject when really all I knew came from romance novels and the raunchy talk shows I used to watch when I was home alone after school.  The irony of what I was saying wasn’t lost on me.  After all, I’d never even had a boyfriend!
    Chris snorted and brushed his hair back from his forehead.  It had grown since I’d first met him.  In some ways it seemed absurd to think it had been that long since I’d wandered into his hospital room for the first time.  But in another sense, it felt like I’d met Chris a million year ago, like I’d known him all my life and maybe even in previous lives. 
    “So just to be clear,” he said, “Y ou don’t think people are capable of changing?”
    “No.”
    He leaned toward me as if to hear me better, looking intrigued.  “You really think that, Michelle?” he asked, almost as though he couldn’t quite believe it.  I could see a mixture of wonder and sadness on his handsome face.
    “Well…maybe they can,” I relented with some reluctance. “But I think it’s rare – very rare.”
    “Fair enough,” he conceded, fiddling with his sunglasses absentmindedly.  “So what’s the deal with you?  Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” 
    I had an opportunity to tell him the truth but I was too much of a coward to take it.  Instead, I stared at my hands and mumbled some noncommittal, cliché answer about not having met the right person yet.  It was a cop out if there ever was one.
    Chris, however, seemed to buy it hook, line and sinker.  Why wouldn’t he?  After all, he had no reason to suspect I’d be concealing the ugly truth from him.  It wasn’t that I’d lied on purpose – and technically I hadn’t lied at all.  But I’d left out key details about my life, probably because they were painful admissions I didn’t want to get into. 
    I preferred to just forget about those details when I was with Chris. 
    “You’ve gotten awfully quiet,” Chris observed with concern.  “Did I touch a nerve?”
    “Nah,” I assured him, forcing myself to sound chipper.
    “I can just imagine all the guys whose hearts you’ve broken,” he teased.  “I bet they fall for you only to realize you’re far too good for them.  Do you let them down easy, at least?” he asked, giving me a playful nudge.  “I bet you do…you may act all sarcastic and cynical but underneath it all you’re too nice to be cruel about it.”
    “I’ve never broken up with anyone in my life,” I replied truthfully.  What I didn’t say was that at nineteen years old I’d never had a boyfriend before, either.
    Chris must have assumed that meant I was the one who always got dumped.  “Don’t worry about it,” he said reassuringly, a notable tenderness in his voice.  “It’s their loss.  Now,” he said, sitting back, lacing his hands behind his head and giving me an impish grin, “Where should we go on our second date?”
    “It wasn’t a date!” I hissed, feeling my face redden. 
    Chris just laughed.

Chapter 04
    The next day when I stopped by Chris’s hospital room after I’d finished my candy striping, he wasn’t there.  Not only wasn’t he there, but a new patient was in his bed!  I raced to the nurse’s station at the end of the hall. 
    “What happened to Chris in Room 403?” I demanded somewhat shrilly, feeling alarmed.
    “ 403?  That guy was discharged