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pissed, as though I somehow thought I was entitled to perfect vision and a perfect life.  It wasn’t fair, the way I treated them.  I wish I could take it all back.”
    “So does that mean they…don’t visit you anymore?”  I was appalled to think Chris had just been abandoned – and it made me wonder just how badly he’d really treated his family.
    “My sister got knocked up, had a shotgun wedding and moved away.   She’s on bed rest right now.  She calls me once a week.  The calls used to be literally thirty seconds long – she was just calling out of obligation.  But now we actually talk.  I’m trying to make up for all the years I was a massive douchebag of a little brother.  I think we’re getting there,” he said hopefully. 
    “What about your mother?” I asked.   “I mean, you mentioned once that you live with her now, right?  Why haven’t I ever seen her here visiting you?”
    “She has health problems of her own,” he explained.  “On the bad days she’s basically housebound.  She’s going through a nasty bout with her fibromyalgia and arthritis right now, so it’s been a while since she’s been able to come to visit me.”
    “Do y ou get along with her?  I live with my mom too but she’s always working so it’s not like we ever have to interact.”
    “Yeah, it’s alright.  I mean , moving back in with my mother after having a taste of independence at college wasn’t the easiest thing ever, but we manage to co-exist.  I’m hoping that one day soon I’ll be able to get a guide dog so I can be more independent.  I’d love to live on my own again someday.”
    “ Oh.”  I was warming up to Chris again, albeit cautiously.  After all, he’d just shared some pretty personal and undoubtedly painful information with me.  Already, I was having trouble thinking of him as One of Them.  To me, I realized with a great deal of relief, he was just Chris. 
    “You don’t seem like an asshole,” I observed.
    “Well I like to think I’m not anymore!”
    “What changed?”
    He shrugged.  “I guess I sort of had an epiphany.  One day I realized I wasn’t miserable because of the vision loss.  I mean, on the surface that’s what it was about but honestly?  I was miserable because I was holding onto so much anger and sadness that it was consuming me.  And I was dragging everyone around me down with all my negativity.  So I just kind of…stopped.”
    I raised an eyebrow and then remembered Chris couldn’t see my reaction.  “That seems strange.”
    “Maybe it is,” he agreed.  “But I don’t know how else to describe it.  I sort of just…let everything go.  And little by little, I changed.  If it wasn’t for my accident I’d probably still be the same selfish asshole I used to be.  I mean yeah, I still wish every day that none of it had happened, but maybe there was a reason for it, you know?”
    “You probably weren’t that much of an asshole to begin with,” I reasoned.
    “That’s sweet of you to say,” Chris replied.  “But trust me, I was.”
    “What’s the meanest thing you’ve ever done?” I demanded.
    Chris thought about this for a moment.  I half-expected him to answer with another joke, but when he finally spoke, he was completely serious.  “I’m not proud of this, but I was kind of a…user.”
    I was puzzled.  “Are you talking about drugs ?”  I’d never even so much as tasted alcohol before, mostly because I’d never had the opportunity.  My mom didn’t keep any in the house and I certainly wasn’t one to get invited to parties.
    Chris shook his head.  “No.  I mean yeah, I smoked weed with my buddies sometimes but that’s not what I meant.  I…hmm, how do I put this?  Well let’s put it this way:  my nickname in high school was Playboy.”
    I considered the implication.   “So you were what, a slut?”
    He chuckled.  “ You have a real way with words, you know that?”  Then he grew serious again.