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dad came in with a cheery smile and a newspaper. What is even more amazing is that although he smiled at me, he didn’t say anything. Nothing. How cool is that? He didn’t ask me anything or tell me a crap joke or anything, he just went off to read his paper. Like a proper dad. He has probably got a pipe.
    one minute later
    He HAS got a pipe!!!
    And he doesn’t even light it. He just sucks on it in a pleasant way and doesn’t annoy people with smoke, etc.
    Amazing.
    five minutes later
    Waking along to Stalag 14. Waiting for Jas to tell me about the snooker hall thing. I’m not going to ask her; I have too much pridenosity. She was doing tuneless humming. Very annoying. Then she started talking about MacUseless and her part as Lady Macbeth. Who cares about her? She said, “Have you practiced your crying for the bit when Macduff finds out his wife and children have been killed?”
    I just looked at her. If she thinks it is me that should practice crying, she should try rambling on about rubbish for a bit longer.
    But she is as sensitive as a brick. She just went on. “You know when I do the spot thing, well…do you think it should be OUT damn spot! Or Out DAMN spot!!! Or Out damn SPOT!!”
    Finally I snapped. If she thinks I can talk about spots at a time like this, she is madder than I thought. Which doesn’t seem possible.
    I said, “It’s irrelevant how you say spot, Jas.”
    She got all huffy. “No, I think it carries the whole production.”
    â€œI’m not talking about the production. I’m justsaying it’s irrelevant how you say spot because you won’t be alive for MacUseless unless you tell me what happened last night at snooker. What did Tom say?”
    She looked a bit shifty and began fiddling with her fringe. I resisted slapping her hand. Then she said, “Do you want a bit of chuddie?”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œWhat about a black midget gem? They are your fave and…”
    â€œJas.”
    â€œWell remember, don’t shoot the messenger.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œI’m just telling you because you asked me to, it’s not my fault as such.”
    assembly
    Apparently Lindsay had turned up at the snooker hall and had stayed for about twenty minutes talking to Masimo and then slimed off. I tried asking Jas if they looked like they were having snoggy talk, but she said that Tom had gone back to playing snooker. Typical of boys. They think about such rubbish. Tom can’t even tell me what Lindsay was wearing, but apparently he told Jas every single score of eachgame he played and how long each game lasted.
    Who cares about that?
    My life is double merde . And a half. And that is a fact.
    break
    The ace gang did their best to keep my spirits up.
    But even Rosie tucking her skirt into her knickers and walking into class as if she looked perfectly normal couldn’t cheer me up.
    And I am sure that Wet Lindsay was deliberately shaking her ludicrous extensions about like a ninny to show me that she had spoken to Masimo. With a bit of luck she will catch them in a locker and her head will come off.
    7:30 p.m.
    In bed under the covers. With the lights out. Mum bustled in. She said, “What are you doing in bed?”
    I said from under the covers, “Oh you know, the shot put, that sort of thing.”
    What does she think I am doing in bed at night with the light off?
    She immediately got the hump, obviously. “You are so rude, Georgia. It’s not my fault you’ve gotobsessed with some boy. And I’m not your servant, either. You just come in and drop your things anywhere. I’m a person, you know, not just here to tidy up after you and cook and clean.”
    That perked me up despite my tragicosity. I sat up and removed my cucumber eye patches. “Cook and clean? Clean?? Cook?? I had a cheese sandwich for my dinner, and that is after double Maths. AND I made the sandwich AND Gordy ate half of