Tags:
Fiction,
General,
Humorous stories,
People & Places,
Juvenile Fiction,
England,
Social Issues,
Interpersonal relations,
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Girls & Women,
Adolescence,
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Diary fiction,
Diaries,
Interpersonal Relations in Adolescence
speech. Gordy just leapt off the wardrobe and used my head as a landing pad so he didnât have to hurt his feet leaping straight onto the floor.
Anyway, on with my acceptance speech.
âAah Masimo, che bella sorpresa ! What a nice surprise to see you thisâ¦â Hang on, what is Italian for âthis eveningâ? This nightio? That canât be rightâheâll think I am talking about my jimjams for some reason. Iâll look it up later in my Italian for Complete Fools book. Anyway, on with the acceptance speechioâ¦âOh you would like me to be your girlfriend? Well, that would be mucho bello . Grassy arse.â
Short and to the point, I think that is the key.
tuesday june 21st
7:30 a.m.
Had a dream about Masimo last night, only he wasnât speaking in a nice Pizza-a-gogo landaccent; he was saying things like, âThat is well good.â And, âShut it, my son.â And most alarmingly he was in a band called The Blunderboys. I was at the gig and he came over to me and said, âGet your tracksuit top, youâve pulled.â And as we rode off on his scooter, he started singing, âThe Funky Moped,â by Jasper Carrot. Iâve woken up in a cold sweat. What can it mean?
wednesday june 22nd
6:00 p.m.
How long can this torture go on? On one hand the days seem very very long, like creeping along snaily days; on the other hand itâs only a matter of hours until Friday. How many hours exactly? Well, itâs 6:00 P.M . now, so that means plus six tonight and then twenty-four plus for tomorrow and then, er, well, what time will he phone on Friday? Will he count from the hour he told me he would tell me in a weekâs time? I would. It was 5:45 P.M . last Friday when he told me, so a week would be 5:45 P.M . this Friday. But you never know with boys; what if he counts it from when he got home? Would that be 6:15 P.M ? Or maybe he didnât go straight home, maybe he went to the shops and got a few nibblythings. Then bumped into someone, so he didnât actually get home until 8:00 P.M . Oh God.
6:30 p.m.
Phoned Jas in sheer desperadoes.
âJas, do you think he will phone me or come round?â
âErm, I dunno.â
âYeah, but what do you think? What would you do if you were going to tell me whether you wanted to go out with me?â
âErâ¦but I donât want to go out with you. I would just tell you. In fact, I am just telling you now.â
âJas, you are being what is technically known as a fool.â
She of course classically immediately for no reason got the mega hump. But I was in no mood for her humps. I said, âWhat does Tom think?â
She said, âHang on, Iâll ask him.â
Good grief, are they joined at the hip?
She came back a few mins later and said, âTom says he will do a bit of detective work and see if he can find out anything.â
I said fanks, but in my heart of hearts I donâtknow if letting Radio Jas find out things is the best foot forward. Too late now.
8:30 p.m.
Tom is going to the snooker club tonight and the Stiff Dylans are playing in a tournament. Oh Goddygodgod.
midnight
Jas says she will tell me anything she finds out tomorrow because Tom is going to call her first thing. How am I supposed to sleep under these conditions?
thursday june 23rd
7:50 a.m.
Banging on Jasâs door.
one minute later
Jasâs mum answered the door all washed and dressed normally. And smiling. Crikey.
Itâs so relaxing and normal round here, no wonder Jas has got a boyfriend and is not on the rack of love all the time. She has been brought upproperly, not dragged up by fools like I have.
Jasâs mum said, âWould you like a piece of toast, dear, or maybe a boiled egg?â
A boiled egg!! Wow, it was like being in a Famous Five bookâthe next thing you knew, Jasâs dad would come bounding in with a cheery smile and a newspaper.
one minute later
Jasâs
Jeff Benedict, Armen Keteyian