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Libbs said, “Heggo, Gingey,” and put her little arms up for me to lift her up. There was the usual wrestling match trying to get her into her own bed but no spitting, thank goodness.
    I will really miss her when I go on tour.
    10:15 p.m.
    I went into the living room to talk to my dear old vati. I feel quite fond of him now I won’t be seeing him for much longer. He was lolling on the sofa watching TV, twirling his beard.
    â€œDad.”
    â€œHmm.”
    â€œEr…you know…if I had a really good, life-changing experience offered to me, well…would you let me go?”
    He said, “What fool has offered to adopt you?” And laughed like a bearded loon (which he is).
    I went on with great dignosity. “Yes, very funny, Dad. Anyway, say I was invited to America—could I go?”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œWell, could I go to Paris on the school trip, then?”
    â€œI thought you hated Edith Piaf.”
    â€œI do, but I aime very very much the other French people.”
    Anyway, the long and the long of it is that I can go on the Paris trip. I gave Dad a little kiss on his cheek when he said yes, and he looked like his head was going to fall off with surprise. But I can be a very kind and caring person, especially if I am about three thousand miles away in a different country.
    midnight
    But this is only one string in my mistress plan. First Paris, France, and then Paris, Texas!!!
    Howdy Hamburger-a-gogo types!!
    friday november 26th
    french
    We’ve all signed up to go on the French trip to le gay Paree, apart from the Bummers (hurrah) and Nauseating P. Green and ADM (Astonishingly Dim Monica). P. Green and ADM are not allowed to go because their mums are worried about the drinking water being polluted in France, and also that they might lose their glasses. Which I think would be a plus.
    Gorgey Henri was talking about the trip and sitting on his desk. Phwoar. I know that I am putting my red bottom aside with a firm hand but he is very groovy-looking.
    When Gorgey Henri said, “I will show you…how you say…my EVERYTHING in Paris,” I said, “Ooer,” which made Rosie laugh uncontrollably for about five minutes.
    4:20 p.m.
    Forced to stay behind again to help with the Peter Pan fiasco. I think it’s a crime against humanity to have to look at Wet Lindsay’s stick legs night after night. But can I explain that to lesbian of the modern world Miss Stamp? No. She is in a feverof excitement, adjusting costumes, and sending Nana the dog (a.k.a. Pamela Green) scampering around. P. Green is alarmingly good as a dog. I may teach her some amusing tricks.
    backstage
6:00 p.m.
    Backstage, rifling through the props box, because Tinker Bell (played by Melanie Andrews, 48DD in the basooma department) broke her wand when Nana leapt up at her by mistake.
    I said to Rosie, as we rummaged around trying to find another one, “Do you think it’s awfully wise to let Melanie Andrews loose on stage?”
    Rosie said, “No, I don’t. She’s not small, is she? What if her enormous basoomas make her topple over and she kills a first former?”
    I said, “I think in our capacity of backstage staff we should ban her on health and safety grounds.”
    tuesday november 30th
    The Stiff Dylans are rehearsing every night. Robbie said I should come along and listen at the weekend when they are doing their new set. I thinkI should take an interest in my new life. I could make some suggestions about lyrics and so on.
    saturday december 4th
    Sven and the lads have organized a nature ramble tomorrow afternoon. I asked Rosie, “What does that mean?”
    â€œWell, you know, we ramble off to the park and then we snog.”
    I can’t go, though, because I am going to go to rehearsal with The Stiff Dylans. They have a mini-tour of Scotland and Wales just after Chrimbo. Then they will be cutting their new album. Man. That is not what the album is