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guess where Tabitha dragged me?” gushed Mum. I am now dreading the answer and also the level of burn that may appear in my cheeks, since I have just left the same shop.
    “Yes, tea and scones are great,” I reply hoping Mum will be distracted if I ignore her question.
    “Well Tabitha spotted a great little underwear shop and simply had to go in. Tabitha bought a simply gorgeous royal-blue set with delicate golden trim and look what I have,” Mum says as she pulls out a black thong, with matching bra – oh no – please help me! I cannot believe I am looking at my mother’s sexy underwear in public. This is just too much – put it away!
    “That’s lovely Mum,” is all I can think of to say.
    “I thought it would suit you and also noticed you badly need some new underwear, so I got it for you,” Mum said smiling. Guilt washes over me like a tidal wave as I realise mum’s intentions, followed by embarrassment, which also washes over me like a tidal wave as I realise mum is holding my underwear up in public and that she has announced far too loudly that my current stuff is in such bad condition.
    “Thanks mum. That’s really kind,” I reply hastily shoving them into my bulging bag.
    “It is a lovely set–shame only you’ll see it – maybe I could set you up with one of Mark’s single friends. This is my set,” says Tabitha as she shows me a glimpse of her new underwear in her bag.
    What I find much more interesting in her bag rather than her underwear, is the latest copy of Heat magazine. As much as I did not want to see the underwear she will wear for my brother, I am ecstatic about seeing this. So you don’t like anything lowbrow Tabitha? Well I will keep this little gem of information stored in my memory for another time. “Bitch!” I say in my head, but NOT out loud and just smile thinking; Heat magazine, and also that there is no way I would ever go out with one of Mark’s friends.
    A few hours later, as I’m driving home in my mud splattered car, I feel pleased with completing an item from the list unexpectedly and also happy that my visit generally went well, with only a few annoying moments. Driving down the tree-lined lane to the village, I am greeted by my usual rush of contentment that fills me whenever I am home. I pull up near to The Tea Cosy and collect my bag which is now straining slightly from the weight of the jars. As I cross over the road towards The Tea Cosy, the handle on my bag snaps spilling various contents, mainly the large jars from the delicatessens. Ensuring my new underwear is quickly pushed back into the bag, I glance around to retrieve the jars from the road and pop them on the doorstep of The Tea Cosy ready to take inside. Fiddling with my unnecessarily, huge, bunch of keys, I search for the correct one to open the front door.
    “Hi, I think these are yours. They rolled off to the other side of the road.”
    Oh no, oh no! Why him again? My mystery man is standing in front of me holding up two jars–my pleasure gel in one hand and body chocolate in the other. Yet again he is wearing his familiar smirk. Feeling my face start to flame hot, I force myself to remember my rules on composure, therefore act as if I regularly drop body chocolate and pleasure gel over the road and couldn’t care less. It doesn’t help that I notice his muscles straining through his shirt as he holds up my jars.
    “Hi, oh thanks, I’m glad I’ve not lost those – couldn’t be without them for one minute” I reply confidently.
    “Well, I’m glad I could be of assistance.” Glancing at the label he reads, “Body Chocolate – best for sharing and erm ...” he glances at the other jar whilst I try not to flinch, “Pleasure gel – for that intense pleasurable feeling – well enjoy them both!” he says as he hands them to me. “I’m sure you’ll make your boyfriend’s day with those.”
    “Thank you,” I reply, face reddening, as I turn to enter The Tea Cosy. I am too flustered