have fed Drano to a man and burned him from the inside out while he laid sedated from pills. Uugh it was too awful to fathom.
We went in and signed in and were ushered to the waiting area while they fetched Jesse. There we sat with our fellow visitors, a lot of moms with small kids hanging off them, some older weary looking moms probably visiting their got too drunk and drove middle aged kids, the hooker girlfriends. It was a sad, dreary place with an odd institutional feel.
Finally it was our turn.
“Jesse, honey, how are you holding up” I said into the phone/video hook up. I could see him and see right away how upset he was. He looked so small and scared.
“I didn’t do it, Bee, I swear didn’t do it,” and he cried, I mean sobbed into the phone. You could see the other inmates in his cell block area roaming around behind him and for him to be this vulnerable, in jail, just killed me.
“It’s okay, Jess, it is okay. I believe you.” And I did, I just couldn’t imagine him harming his dad that way. As tears came to my eyes, I was grateful Ben nudged me to take a turn on the phone.
“Jess, listen, you know this is recorded right, anything you say can be used at a future time, so be careful what you say, but we believe you didn’t do this. But we need to figure out who did. You need to focus with me kid, what happened that day, tell me everything.”
“I can’t, I can’t really remember that much. Taylor came over and we got drunk, we had VSOP and we finished it, we were watching Cops and drinking. My dad was there, but was in the back computer room for a while, Pam came over for a bit and then left and then he went to take a nap. The thing is, I don’t remember cause I was drunk. I tried telling that to the cops but they didn’t believe me and didn’t test me for an hour after we got to the station. By that time I wasn’t lit at all. What am I going to do, Ben, Bee, what is going to happen?” And with that he started tearing again and I started tearing.
Just then we heard the clerk yell out: “Visitor Two for Jones, Visitor One time up.”
I got back on the video phone: “Jess, we have to go, call us, we’ll figure this out, just take it one step at a time, remember to pray, God can help you now more than you know, lean on him, okay.”
As we were leaving we saw them, Taylor and her mom. Her mom looked like a squashed dirty version of the Pillsbury dough boy, with stringy long hair in a stylishly out of date sweat pant suit. Must have been her dress clothes, for the jail visit. They must be visiting Jess, they were the reason we had to go. As we passed them Taylor’s mom gave us a dagger look. Probably because Ben was giving her one right back.
“I can’t believe they came ,” I said as soon as we were out of the building.
“Right?” Ben said, but I could see he was pondering something else and not really clued in to any utterances from me.
“What did he say about that day?” I asked , I could see and hear a little but the phone line keeps most stuff mumbled and thus private.
“He said Pam was there , and Taylor. It must be one of them.” Pam, I thought no way. Taylor. Maybe.
“Pam , no way, Taylor, maybe.” I nodded at him.
“Hmmm.” Was all he said as he reverted into his own thinking space
As we headed home we picked up some Chinese , this was our EOW routine, hang around in sweats watching tv and eating food from the carton and generally acting like slobs on our “night” off. It was hard maintaining a facade of always being the adult so when you got the chance not to, it was a real treat. We made quite a night of it, eating ourselves full, drinking beer, watching trash TV and finally making love in the living room. I could get used to this no kid on the weekend thing I thought guiltily.
Chapter Five
Laundry. Every Saturday was the same thing, laundry and more laundry. And this time, I had to wash all the sheets from the girls room AGAIN, plus their towels
Colm Tóibín, Carmen Callil