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said, “and I’m going out with this guy. I just know that this is it. He’s the one. I love him so much—but I get so insecure!”
    I cut her off and practically shouted at her. “Well don’t let him know that!”
    The reasoning seems obvious to me: you’ll be more attractive to a man if he doesn’t think you’re hanging on his every word and smile and invitation. You always want a man to think you have plenty going on in your life. In fact, you always want to have plenty going on in your life, period! You’re not only more interesting to other people if you do, you’ll be much more interesting to yourself.
    Seriously, you never want the guy to think you’re waiting around for him to call. I had lunch with one of my friends recently and she told me this guy she’d been dating wasn’t calling her back. She said, “So I left a message saying, ‘Why are you ignoring me?’”
    Oh my God! “I don’t even know if I can be your friend anymore!” I said. “Are you joking?” I would cut my finger off before I would ever call somebody in that situation. Okay, so you’re feeling insecure. I get it. Just don’t let him know!
    You have to commit yourself to playing it cool when you’re dating. If your guy wants to have a night out with the boys, just say, “Great, have fun!” You may feel a little threatened—personally, I don’t love guys’ night out once you’re married, or really even girls’ night out, because I think nothing good can come from it—but don’t let on. Don’t tell him you’ll just be at home waiting for him either. Don’t say anything but “Have a good time!” Just let him think that you’re totally fine with him going out to have a good time, because you’ll probably be out having fun too.
    Men are predatory animals, but that’s not really as bad as it sounds. It’s their biological nature; it just means that they like a challenge, a chase. That’s the language they speak and understand. Make it clear that you’re a prize worth fighting for. Don’t just present yourself up on a plate and tell him you’re available by room service twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week!
    Let me use my own experience as an example. Mauricio and I first met at a nightclub in Beverly Hills called Bar One. We talked a lot that night and hit it off immediately, and he asked for my number.
    But then he didn’t call me for a whole week! He had actually gone to Mexico, but I didn’t know that. So when he finally called me to ask me out, I had to make him wait a little. I had to say, “Oh, no, sorry. I can’t do anything until … let’s see, not until Thursday. I’m busy.” I mean, really, how dare you wait a week to call me? No way I’m jumping and saying yes right away!
    It’s good to play a little bit hard-to-get, but don’t be obvious about it. I have a friend who told me one day, all proud and triumphant, “Oh, I was so good! I told him, ‘I’m not going out with you tonight because you didn’t give me the two-day warning!’”
    I said, “What? Are you an idiot? You just defeated the whole purpose—and now you might as well sleep with him and get it over with!” Don’t be afraid to provide a challenge to a guy you’re interested in, but do it intelligently and discreetly .
    Now, all this may seem like game playing to you, but in my mind it is just being smart. Playing the game is part of the mating ritual—especially if you’re in your twenties or thirties. As we all know, men mature more slowly than women and they never really catch up! So young men are simply going to require a little more guidance.
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Take It Up a Notch
    If your man isn’t moving things along as quickly as you like, you may have to help him a little bit. But you must do it with finesse. Don’t just say, “Hey, we’ve been going out long enough now. When the hell are we going to get married?”
    Right off I’m going to tell you that if the two of you aren’t even monogamous yet, then forget