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to get me to her back door as soon as possible. She was a California Jewish Princess, which is either ironic or obvious and I don’t know which.
    As far as rimming, licking and sucking assholes: Where else can you go farther if you want to give or get adoration? In the world of wild sex a prude is anyone who never sucked an asshole because that’s the dividing line between aficionado and the truly committed.
    Most really slutty females that go crazy on you in bed like to lick your ass. Almost all of them. Like they can’t do enough. They suck your cock, they lick your balls, they make grunting noises and speed things up and lick and touch and kiss everywhere but especially your asshole. It’s the center that the whole thing rotates around.
    It’s great as horny foreplay, treading transitions between orgasms, or after fucking as mellow down time.
    The most amazing data point about assholes comes from an ex-girlfriend of mine who was Korean. She was taught by her mother that cleaning and then sucking a man’s asshole was the key to having power over him in a society where women had no power. And also by letting him fuck you in the ass or better yet by begging him to fuck you in the ass. I really don’t know whether it was just my girlfriend’s mother or a Korean cultural norm, but I liked that she taught her daughter that anal sex was how to control a man.
    After three trips back to Korea and several thousand hours of negotiating with her father and mother she went back to marry some guy her family wanted her to marry to bring their families closer together. She knew the guy and thought he was sexy and didn’t mind the arrangement. She’s probably sucking his asshole as you’re reading this.
    A mellow version of anal sex, suited to all ages but fitting in well with senior citizens, is anal massage, preferably while watching a football game but any favorite TV program will do. Have your lover get a warm wet towel and wash your face and hands and package and crack, and then oil your junk and butthole. Weed enhances this by a factor of ten and falling asleep for short naps and waking up to this has a kinship with the euphoric rush of opiates.
    Anal sex is a staple of porn films and usually comes at the end just before the cum shot. It’s penultimate—the dirtiest part of a dirty movie before the climax. I always thought there should be T-shirts for men who really like it that say: “I Fast Forward To The Anal.”

8
    The return of Laura
    A Friday afternoon in June 1980
    Exactly three weeks after our last meeting, Laura calls my service and leaves a message asking me to please get in touch with her.
    I call back and catch her on her way into a session. She is near to crying. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m sorry about what happened. I need you. Can you please come by after work and meet me?”
    â€œYou bet!”
    â€œCan I spend the weekend with you?”
    â€œYes,” I tell her, “but you buy dinner.”
    â€œYou’re on.”
    Of all the whorehouses in all the towns in all the world, I walked into hers.

9
    Emblematic mojos rising
    My mojo was working again! The shock of winning, then losing Laura had knocked me down. Now this extra-innings, sudden-death, come-from-behind score refurbished my pride.
    In addition to the normal ups and downs of life, I’ve been the beneficiary of flukes. When I was nineteen, I worked as a pool boy at Sydney Hills Country Club in Newton, Massachusetts. It was the summer of 1966 and most of what was great was English. Nearly all the music I listened to was English except for Elvis, Bobby Vee, Chuck Berry, the Beach Boys, The Beau Brummels, and Gene Pitney. The clothes I wanted were English and the women I wanted were English. I had to get to England. I decided not to go back to the University of Bridgeport for my junior year but to move to London instead.
    I worked every day that summer and