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at Noah, “don’t do me any favors. Like having your dick in my mouth is a slice of heaven.”
    Noah knew there was only one way out of this: south.
    “Come here,” he said lovingly. He took Sarah into his arms and started kissing her. She held out for a moment to make her point, then finally kissed him back.
    Neither of them noticed the red light on the baby monitor sitting on the dresser. Noah kissed Sarah’s neck to warm her up, then moved down her torso in the predictable journey to the promised land.

    Meanwhile, back on the couch, Patience’s body language had completely changed. Any idiot could see she was bored, but Walker plowed on. “So, are you on Facebook?”
    Just then, Pike burst into the room holding the baby monitor over his head like a trophy. The other stoners followed close behind, still laughing their asses off. Apparently, they had collectively decided this was simply too good to keep to themselves. Over the monitor, Sarah was moaning, “That’s it. Right there, babe. Lick my kitty.” And as her moans of ecstasy grew louder, the room went silent and everyone gathered around to listen.
    In the baby’s room, Noah was doing a pretty solid job getting Sarah off.
    “Yes! God, yes! Yes! Lick my kitty!”
    The “kitty” thing was nothing new to Noah. Every girl must call her vagina something , he thought the first time he heard Sarah say it. By now, it didn’t even occur to him that it sounded kind of funny. But to the forty-odd people in the rec room downstairs, listening to the proverbial blow by blow, it was downright hilarious.
    “Lick my kitty! Lick my kitty!” Sarah screamed as she got closer and closer.
    The whole rec room was now chanting: “Lick her kitty! Lick her kitty!”
    Pike, who obviously had been heavily into Star Wars before taking up pot, quoted that guy in the attack squadron in the final battle against the Death Star: “Stay on target.”
    More moans, louder, faster.
    Suzanne gave her expert opinion, “She’s almost there…”
    “Stay on target,” Pike repeated.
    “Lick my kitty!”
    “Almost…”
    “Stay on target…”
    Sarah screamed, “Yes! Yes! Yes !!!”
    A moment of silence, then the rec room erupted with applause.
    Marco, ever the one to recognize a money-making opportunity, checked his stopwatch. “Okay, who had five oh two?” A football player raised his hand and Marco paid him the impromptu pool money.
    Sarah and Noah got dressed and left the baby’s room. Sarah was in a good mood now and Noah felt genuinely happy to have brought so much pleasure to her. As they walked along the upstairs hallway, some people chuckled at them. One random dude with a goatee made claws at Sarah and meowed.
    Sarah looked at Noah a little confused, but also a tiny bit nervous. The two headed downstairs to the first floor where they passed other people who also meowed at her. Sarah’s fears were swelling. “What’s going on here?”
    “I have no idea,” Noah replied.
    They headed down the next staircase to the basement. As they made it halfway, the room erupted in applause. Sarah and Noah still had no idea what was going on, until Marco shouted, “Lick my kitty! Lick my kitty!” He showed them the baby monitor and Sarah turned crimson.
    “Oh, my God,” she eked out.
    Sarah turned around and ran back upstairs. Noah raced after her.

    It was still pretty warm out and Noah and Sarah argued out on the front lawn as the party was breaking up. “So it’s my fault that the baby monitor was on?” Noah asked defensively. “How was I supposed to know?”
    “If you had a stupid back-up condom none of this would have happened!”
    Noah was sick of her stupid logic. “Who cares anyway? In ten days you’re never going to see any of these people again!”
    Sarah stared right into his eyes. “You mean like you?”
    Oops.
    Noah felt like he’d been outmaneuvered and quickly backtracked. “No, that’s not what I meant.” He looked down at the ground, barely able to get