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you’ll have to come up with something different. I can’t have dozens of bad Christmases on my conscience.”
    I nodded. “That’s okay, we’ll—”
    â€œDo it on our own, then,” Brooke said, crossing her arms.
    â€œWe will?” I asked.
    â€œYes, and we’ll show you that you’re wrong.” She pointed at Mary Patrick, who responded with a raised eyebrow. “Heck, maybe we’ll start our own paper!” exclaimed Brooke.
    â€œWhoa!” I held up both hands.
    â€œOkay, maybe not that,” she agreed. “But we’ll give gift advice, and kids will love it!” Brooke hammered her fist into her palm.
    Mary Patrick didn’t back down. “Do whatever you want, as long as you don’t bring thepaper into it.” Without waiting for an answer, she stormed off in one direction while Brooke stormed off in the other.
    â€œ. . . doesn’t think I can do it. I’ll show her,” Brooke muttered to herself.
    â€œAre you sure going up against Mary Patrick is such a good idea?” I asked, following Brooke to our corner of the room.
    â€œShe’s always acting like she knows what’s best for this paper.” Brooke dropped into her chair. “Someone needs to prove her wrong.”
    Heather and V joined us with the day’s collection of advice requests to sort through.
    Brooke picked one up and grinned triumphantly. “Ha! See? People are already asking for gift advice. In your face, Mary Patrick!” She patted herself on the back. “Good job, me.”
    Heather and Vanessa exchanged an amused look.
    â€œDid we miss something?” asked Heather.
    â€œWe’re going to war with Mary Patrick,” I explained.
    â€œNot actual war, right?” V asked, wrinkling her nose. “Because camo is last season.”
    â€œIt’s not war,” Brooke said, pulling out her notebook. “War implies two sides are fighting.”
    Heather nodded. “Glad we’re not—”
    â€œThis will be annihilation!” Brooke gave a slightly insane cackle.
    â€œTaking this too far,” Heather finished with a frown. “Why are we going to war exactly?”
    Brooke was scribbling a mile a minute on her paper. “Mary Patrick didn’t like the idea of us giving gift advice because she thinks we’ll do a bad job. We’re going to prove her wrong. And since she won’t let us affiliate ourselves with the paper, we’ll have to advertise in Locker 411.”
    She turned her notebook so the rest of us could read it.
    Need a gift for your grandma?
    Need a present for your parent?
    Your esteemed advice columnists Brooke, Heather, Tim, and Vanessa can help!
    Drop a note in the advice box to tell us who you’re shopping for, and we’ll do the rest!
    â€œNot bad,” said Heather, “but if we’re not allowed to mention the paper, we probably shouldn’t mention we’re advice columnists. Or use the advice box.”
    â€œGood catch!” Brooke crossed out your esteemed advice columnists and changed the advice box to Locker 411 . “V, will you make this look prettier?” She ripped out the page and handed it over.
    The warning bell rang, and students began trickling into the classroom.
    â€œOkay,” said Brooke. “I know Mary Patrick’s being a pain, but I really do need to know whereyou guys are on this week’s advice.”
    â€œFinished,” I said, handing over a sheet of notebook paper.
    â€œMe too,” Heather said, searching through her binder.
    â€œHere’s mine,” said Vanessa. She pushed a paper across the desk while she finished coloring in the flyer.
    â€œAw, man!” Brooke collected them all. “I’m the last one again.”
    Her phone buzzed and rattled on the table. She frowned at the screen. “I got a new email from . . . I don’t know who.”
    She held up the phone so we could all