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put on his pants but carried his shirt and shoes out of the room with Sarah, as Dylan and Ashlyn entered.
    As they passed each other, Noah gave Dylan an evil look reserved only for your cock-blocking best friend. Dylan just smiled.

    In the work room, things had gotten really weird really fast. Pike and Ned were now reenacting the light saber duel from Star Wars, only they were using a live chainsaw and an electric hedge trimmer. Olaf, Suzanne, and Diaz sat on the couch cheering them on.
    Ned spoke with his best Darth Vader voice: “When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.”
    Pike replied with an English Obi-Wan Kenobi accent: “Only a master of evil, Darth.”
    Then the two swung their giant power tools at each other. The blades clashed with a tremendous screech of grinding metal. Almost immediately, Pike’s chainsaw was deflected onto the couch, ripping into the cushion and almost killing Olaf who dove out of the way just in time.
    With his weird Norwegian accent, and over the din of the chainsaw still chewing into the couch, Olaf screamed, “What the fuck, Rasshøl?!”

    Back in the rec room, Walker and Patience still hadn’t moved off the couch through the entire bulk of Playlist #44, which was now blasting that M.I.A. song from Slumdog Millionaire . Walker had an endless supply of open-ended questions, from Patience’s possible college major (“Maybe English Lit”) to whether a private high school education was worth the cost (“Yes”). The conversation was light and superficial, and if this were a talk show, Walker would have made Patience’s publicist very happy.
    But it wasn’t a talk show, and Patience was growing restless. “I’m going to France for the summer,” she threw out there. “I’m leaving on Tuesday.”
    She leaned in once more with a smile, a last ditch effort at getting Walker to make a move.
    But she might as well have been speaking French because Walker merely replied, “Wow, that sounds amazing. I’ve always wanted to see Paris.”
    Walker was giving her nothing so Patience simply gave up.
    Great , she thought. I’m stuck with the one gay guy in the whole party . She leaned back, disappointed.

    Without really thinking about it, Sarah and Noah had gone into the baby’s room as Dylan had suggested, and now they were lying down on a baby blanket on the floor next to the crib. But the mood was ruined, and they were just leaning on their elbows facing each other. Any hope of reviving the romance was a long-shot, Noah estimated.
    “So now what?” Sarah asked.
    Noah kissed her. “We can still do other things,” he said, full of innuendo.
    And to Noah’s surprise, that’s exactly what Sarah wanted to hear. She smiled and started taking off her pants.
    Noah was confused. As her jeans were midway down her legs, Noah interrupted. “Uh, no. That’s not what I meant.”
    Sarah immediately got the message. “Oh, so your condom breaks so now I have to service you?”
    Noah looked at her impishly, like, Pretty much .
    Sarah was not amused.

    The power tools now off, Pike tried fruitlessly to stuff the foam back into the destroyed cushion, but the couch was nearly cut in two. The weed was spent and the others looked around for something else to amuse their addled brains. Suzanne found a small plastic speaker and started fiddling with it. Suddenly, a voice came through the speaker.
    It was Sarah. “Why can’t you ever go down on me? Did it ever occur to you that I like to get oral sex, too?”
    The stoners all stopped in their tracks and looked at each other.
    “Oh, my God,” Suzanne said, stunned. She giggled uncontrollably and covered her mouth with her hand. Pike grabbed what was clearly a baby monitor from her and turned up the volume.
    Noah spoke. “All right, all right. I’ll do it.”
    The five stoners huddled together on the caved-in couch to listen to the drama unfold, like an old-time radio show.

    “If it’s too disgusting for you,” Sarah yelled