confused.
Chuckie managed a small smile. âSorry, Jeff. Yes, Iâm sure my emotions are off the charts. But as I just told Kitty, Iâve spent a lifetime banking anger and turning it into something that works in my favor.â
Gower came and sat on Chuckieâs other side. âChuck, seriously, Iâm here for you, we all are.â
âI know, Paul. And I appreciate that, truly. But Kitty needs to debrief us and we need to do the same for her.â
The three other men looked like they didnât believe it could be this easy. âAh, are you sure?â Jeff asked. âBecause, trust me, you donât feel like youâre banking anger or turning it into something useful. Youâre ready to kill.â
âI am.â Chuckie stood up. âYou just have no idea how many times throughout my life Iâve wanted to kill someone whoâs wronged me, or Kitty. I know the expectation was that Iâd go on a rampage, and, honestly, if Kitty hadnât told me what was going on privately that could have happened. But . . . we have a history of this, of watching each otherâs backs, of giving each other the bad news the other one doesnât want to hear but has to. Iâll be okay.â
âReally?â Buchanan sounded no more convinced than Jeff had.
âReally.â Chuckieâs eyes glittered. âWhat you all forget is that Iâm both an extremely patient person and Iâve been in covert and clandestine ops for my entire adult life. You donât rise up in the C.I.A. by losing it anytime something goes wrong or someone tries to kill you or kills someone on your team or someone who you care about. You rise up in the Agency by being smart enough to solve problems off-book, without any dirt flying back onto you or anyone else you need to protect.â
Gower nodded. âYouâre much less . . . impulsive than, say, Jeff is.â
âAnyone is less impulsive than Jeff,â Chuckie said with a laugh. The others laughed, too, and I felt the room relax. âUnderstandâIâm
going
to kill him. But Iâll do it when itâs not going to cause us all more problems than it solves. Itâs going to be slow, horrific, and as painful as I can possibly make it. And Iâm going to make sure he knows itâs me whoâs killing him, and that I know why he deserves to die.
But
, that wonât happen until, as I said, itâs in a place or a way that doesnât ruin all of us.â
âWhat do you think?â Buchanan asked Jeff.
Who cocked his head. I could tell he was concentrating on Chuckie. Jeff nodded slowly. âWhen youâre with Kitty, you really canât hide your emotions from me. Naomi could, and did, hide them from me when you two were falling in love, and youâre pretty good at it when youâre not with Kitty. But when you are youâre almost as clear a read as she is.â
âThatâs good, I guess,â Chuckie said.
Jeff nodded. âIt is. Chuckâs under control,â he said to Buchanan. âFor now.â He turned back to Chuckie. âBut you and we need to be on guardâbecause that control feels tenuous. And itâs going to be tested the moment you see Goodman again.â
Chuckie shrugged. âI never did anything to you when you essentially took Kitty from me. I wonât do anything to him until itâs the right time.â
âHey, I thought we were past that.â Jeff sounded hurt.
Chuckie walked over and clapped Jeff on the shoulder. âWe are. Well past that. And I was glad of it before but Iâm incredibly grateful now that you, not Cliff, were my best man. Thank you for that, Jeff. So much.â
Jeff pulled Chuckie in and hugged him tightly. Gower joined them. Group hugs were really an A-C thing, and I didnât mind them. But I knew better than to add into the Bro Hug right now. Chuckie didnât need me there,
Aiden James, Patrick Burdine
David Stuckler Sanjay Basu